I call a friend in the porn industry who I haven’t spoken to in three months.
Luke: "How are you?"
Friend: "You mean aside from the fact that I almost died?"
Luke: "No! How did that happen?"
Friend: "I got that crazy MRSA staph infection. It’s a staph infection that is resistant to about 90% of antibiotics."
Luke: "Is it because of the nasty whores you’ve been effing?"
Friend: "It’s a distinct possibility. The doctor said no. She thinks it just came from an ingrown hair. I figure it has to come from someone or some place. This bacteria lives on 40% of the general population and they don’t know it. I’ve heard of six people in Porn Valley who got this in the past two weeks. And nobody’s saying anything about it. Nobody’s reported about it. AIM isn’t telling anybody about it. It’s serious. It can kill you.
"I fear that a lot of people in Vegas [next week for the AVN Expo] will come down with it.
"I was going to the Red Light District party and it felt like a spider bite in my armpit. I looked at it and it was all red and it started swelling up the size of a golf ball. This abscess.
"I go to the emergency room two days before Christmas eve. I wait for four hours. I finally leave. I’m in so much pain. It’s excruciating. I go to an Urgent Care. They cut me right open. They drain this thing. And Luke, in your life, you can’t imagine the pain and the disgusting stuff that came out of my arm.
"They packed it filled with gauze, 14 inches of gauze… Every two days, I had to go back to get the gauze pulled and re-stuffed in. In my armpit.
"It was the most horrifying, the most disgusting, the most painful thing I’ve ever been through in my life. I’m better now but I’m still taking care of this wound. I’ve got this hole in my arm."
Luke: "How close were you to death?"
Friend: "If I didn’t take care of it when I did, there was a good possibility that it would’ve spread up my shoulder into my neck and gone into my lungs or heart and killed me. Some people get this in their nose and then their lungs and it kills them instantly.
"Another chick I know [a porn chick] got this in her thigh and she was hospitalized for three days and on IV drips."
Luke: "Which nasty whore gave it to you?"
Friend: "There’s so many of them… Dude, none of these girls are really fun to me anymore. They’re recreation."
My friend has had sex with many of the most beautiful women in porn.
"For a month, I was banging this girl behind her boyfriend’s back. She tells him she’s leaving him. He was devastated. He overdoses on drugs and dies. I feel bad. Now I have that on my conscience. Maybe he bit me in the armpit?
"A lot of people don’t even realize that you’re gone from lukeisback.com.
"My new year’s resolution is no more porn girls. No more filthy girls."
"You sound happier."
Luke: "I started feeling purified within hours."
Friend: "Let’s not get crazy. Purified? What are you doing now?"
Luke: "I’m monetizing Lukeford.net. Sometimes I can hardly sleep at night because I’m so eager to get back to my computer to learn."
Friend: "I’m sure you’re happier… Life is really hard. I want to get out. I can’t stand anybody in the business. I can’t stand the dysfunction. After this staph infection, I don’t want to f— any whores. I don’t want to be anywhere near whores. I don’t want to deal with their drama.
"I’m nursing myself back to health now only to go back into the petri dish next week. I’m going to jump into a giant pool of bacteria when I go to Vegas."
"If I got chlamydia or herpes it would’ve been understandable because I f— whores. This? I didn’t even know about it."
"You sound so different, man. You sound so happy to be away from all this s—."
Luke: "I feel like I’m in control of my life again. I started feeling better within hours."
