Like Jesus In The Wilderness

Bob emails: As far as I can see Jews, by nature, nurture or necessity are a rather industrious lot. Can the word “industrious” really be used by a rational person to describe Luke Ford (the blogger not the actor)?

Yes, he let a Rabbi prick his penis with a needle and he never pays full retail, but does that really make him Kosher? Honestly, his most Jewish trait is his attraction to shiksas.

I’m just sayin’.

Chaim Amalek emails: I ask you to consider all of the special snares and temptations Luke (Levi) has had to fend off while on his path to becoming a Jew, temptations that few born Jews need ever confront. First there were the many porn Succubi, eager to wrap Luke in the pleasures of their flesh. Then came the Demoness Holly Randall, probably sent by Satan himself to tempt Luke with her fertile Aryan flesh and the promise of never having to work a day in his life with her unstated promise to let him live a life of leisure in Malibu. And all along were the taunts and rejections of the uncaring Torah-True rabbinate; the threat posed by the fists of Mike Albo (actually an angel of God sent to straighten Luke out); to say nothing of all the other temptations that the torah-true Jew faces in his everyday life, like lobster and shaving cream.

Like Jesus in the wilderness wrestling with Satan, Luke fought them off and today is an authentic Torah-true Jew of the sort that the priestly foes of Jesus would have recognized as one of their own. So let us stop speaking of Luke as though he were some pretend wannabe Jew and acknowledge that while he might not be a Semite, he is fully Jewish.

Bob emails: I note your defense of Luke’s Jewishness is full of Christian imagery.

“Thus spake Luke, “Shiksa, get thee behind me!”

About Luke Ford

I've written five books (see My work has been covered in the New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, and on 60 Minutes. I teach Alexander Technique in Beverly Hills (
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