My friend says:
I’m off my meds. Just a little xanax. The Torah is my medicine.
You need to be deprogrammed. You’ve been influenced by a false messiah (Dennis Prager), you have a van, you live among zealots and you sleep on the floor. Even Reverend Moon lets his followers keep some of the peanut brittle they sell door-to-door.
For this intervention, your father will disguise himself as a kangaroo and say, ‘Let’s go walkabout.’ Then I will club you.
I will pay for the repairs on your van if you cover your hands in fake blood, run into Jeff’s Gourmet and scream: they killed my son! my only son!
I, meanwhile, will shout "Barabas!"
