Why are Aussie men so afraid to summon, at the very least, some sort of compliment that isn’t “you’re so fun” or “you’re such a baddie”? They’re just straight up lazy. And it’s this laziness that permeates Australian dating culture in general, from organising dates to texting back.
Don’t get me started on dating apps. The rhetoric around the typical Aussie man on Hinge is boring though, we get it: there’s a load of gym selfies, fish selfies and mullets.
What no one’s talking about is the surge of Aussie men in “open relationships”.
Since Hinge added its “relationship type” feature I’ve clocked a load of them. I had enough of that shit for four years in Berlin but the Aussie breed is worse. They’re too lazy or afraid to introduce any sort of parameters or boundaries and you end up having an angry wife banging on your door at 1 a.m. or Facebook messaging you with the opening line, “Hello lovely, you seem like a smart young woman but…”.
It’s tough out here. I’m sorry I didn’t marry my high-school boyfriend and pop out four kids by age thirty just to stay at home and take care of them while my husband drives his navy blue Subaru to and from his work and his side-piece’s house… But could that reality be better than being on the dating scene?
You either meet a sweetheart who seems okay but then fucks you four times without giving you head, or they ghost, or tell you to not tell anyone you’re fucking (has happened to a beautiful friend of mine THREE!!! times), or roll over and text other girls while you’re still naked in their bed (has happened to multiple friends of mine).
Australian men also suck at love-bombing. At least in Europe when men love-bomb, you get a trip to Italy out of it.
Here, they buy you the ugliest flowers you’ve ever seen and eventually give you chlamydia.
And the men in Australia who don’t love-bomb you are boring as shit, they take you on five dates to mediocre restaurants and lame-as-fuck dive bars then tell you they “don’t have time to date”, even though they work part-time and their only hobby is indoor rock climbing.
“If I’d met an Australian in the UK, I would have flocked to him and now, honestly, I’m going to take a wide berth – that accent’s not going to do it for me anymore, I’m afraid,” she told Today.
“I went on six dates in three weeks and the best one was when I got catfished – he lied about his height, his age and his profession, but he was so attractive and he did pay for everything.”
Aussie columnist Jana Hocking has also had her run of bad dates with local guys with way too many people relating to recent pieces she has written online.
“Lift your game men, you’ve gotten really lazy,” she said.
“I’ve had guys drop farts on dates, I’ve had guys turn up in ripped boardies and thongs., They’ll ask you just come to their house and hang or you’ll go to the pub and instead of paying attention to you, they’ll be watching the NRL or the AFL or the cricket on the screen behind you.
“Guys, come on. You need to step up. Is it too much to ask to just take us out for a nice drink?”
The older generation seem high effort and buy their partners gifts from Chanel, and like to go on international holidays, weekends away etc. The younger ones seem to be very low effort and don’t know how to cook or be romantic. I’m always giving them advice on gifts. If my brother didn’t take my advice on gifts he would be buying his partner gag gifts all the time.
The two Australian men I had serious relationships with were fairly low effort. One always had me pay for everything with an excuse as to why he couldn’t, even if it was his idea to go out. The other one never wanted to go anywhere or do anything that required him to dress nicer than a pair of trackies and joggers. Going out was always take out.
From another thread on Reddit:
* The first thing to say is I’ve been in Oz for 7 years, I’m English (male), a naturalised Australian and married to an Aussie, with Aussie kids. I love this country and it’s people and I’m proud to call it home.
The thing is, I find Aussie men (on the whole) quite difficult to engage in conversation because they don’t seem to ask any questions. They’re generally happy to talk but I find that I’m often doing the heavy lifting in a conversation and that if I don’t ask questions the conversations grind to a halt. I’m always friendly and respectful, I’m not loud or outspoken and I’ve lived all over the world and never had an issue with chatting to people.
* Aussie girl here. And yeah, I can see where you’re coming from.
Does it apply to all Aussie guys? Definitely not.
Does it apply to a large proportion of Aussie guys? In my experience, yes.
I’m a good conversationalist. I can get pretty much any guy comfortably chatting to me. But I have to ask all of the questions, and do all of the prompting, otherwise the conversation will grind to an awkward halt. And that’s not because they don’t want to talk more – it’s just that they don’t seem to know how to keep a conversation flowing (or at least, not with a girl, even if I’m happy to discuss topics they’re interested in).
* It’s because we worry it might turn to cricket and we’d have to put up with being told valid dismissals are not out, that we are morraly corrupt and must play within England’s spirit of cricket as it suits them on the given day, and that our wins were actually losses.
* I’ve noticed this myself with a lot of male friends and when I’m asking them for more information about a third person story there re-telling to me, they never know more information. They will be telling me about a date their friend went on. I’ll ask questions about the date and they simply do not know because they do not ask their friends such basic details.
* Blokes are often a bit stuck in the 80s when the only acceptable topics of conversation were sport, cars and how pissed you got last night. Everything else was “a bit fruity”.
Understanding Australian men is difficult.
Australian men are much less likely to utter meaningless pleasantries. But they are also more likely to genuinely thank somebody, even for just doing their job.Australian men don’t talk about their feelings, but on other subjects tend to be open and honest. Never ask for an opinion, unless you want brutal honesty.
The language is colourful, swearing is part of the vocabulary, and what sounds like insults are commonly used in jest or in friendship. Whilst we don’t set out to be offensive, we also don’t care if we are.
What is often perceived as being disrespectful or overly familiar, is usually the exact opposite. Even when introduced to a VIP, and Australian will speak to the VIP as if to a friend, because that is the highest complement we can pay.
Australians generally cannot tolerate the concept of class or status. In fact people doing menial or thankless jobs are generally afforded more respect than Executives.
Australians are often perceived as racists, because we are carefree in our language and have no time for political correctness, but for the most part Australians are the least racist and biased people around. We literally don’t care about the colour of your skin or where you come from. You are more likely to be judged on your attitude, friendliness, and conduct.
Keep in mind that Australians don’t like whingers, and the quickest way to incur the wrath of an Aussie is unjustified whinging. But its also important to understand what constitutes whinging. Complaining about most things is fine provided you do it with a laugh and a smile.
* When dating an Australian it is best to permit swearing in the conversation. If you try to amend this you will cop slammed doors, boiled up rage and so on. Please let us vent by swearing and know that we like direct conversation.
Never, ever , especially if you are British , assume we lack culture or are uncouth. We solve lots of problems quickly. Airy fairly talk of the weather and choosing to not contribute to problem solving will make you unpopular.
Be direct and upfront and do not hesitate to say “I stuffed up “. We as a population despise people who protect their ego at all costs by pretending not to be in the wrong.
* Socially easy going – Their demeanour is social, light, optimistic.
Time optimistic – They are not in a rush. Trains come every 15mins.
Financially tragic – If their expectations are punctuated, you might find they don’t pay you. They might ask for a discount, there is no culture of giving tips. So not like Americans.
Conceptually ‘not serious’ – You won’t get the serious topical conversations from Australians. I was having a conversation with an Australian in Tokyo. I asked him ‘Why don’t I meet guys like you in Sydney’. He replied…’I’d not have any friends’. The topic was ‘gold markets’. Weirdly because Australia is one of the world’s biggest gold producers. But that’s how remote they are from aborigines, mining and desert. They are closer to the beach, or Bali. Again, this is generalising. My brother goes to Bali (only).
The nature of your outcomes will otherwise depend on how discerning you are, where you look, and how you present yourself. Are you:Conservatively dressed or dressed like a hooker? Will their perception match your values? It depends on the person.
Are you a good person? Are you an opportunist? If they perceive you to be an opportunist, they might see you in the same light. If they don’t respect you, they might treat you like a commodity.
Where you meet them? In a bar? In a philosophy meet up group? At the beach? Drunk?
10 Ways to Know if Someone Likes You
They talk to you a lot and are always hanging around you;
They compliment/insult you a lot;
They have a goofy grin on their face when they look at you;
They do nice things for you;
They find excuses to stay in touch with you;
They touch you when they’re talking to you, ostensibly to emphasise a point;
They smile or frown at you a lot, meaning you have an emotional impact on them;
They laugh at all your jokes, even the bad ones;
They kiss you; and/or
They tell you.
Ten signs you are dating an Aussie guy:
* Anniversaries are low-key.
* Prefer less material gifts.
* You are not going to get long serious conversations without lots of irreverence.
* Tall Poppy Syndrome (cut down people who are growing taller than others). They’d rather be seen as bogan than preppy or snobby. Aussies want to seem average.
* Aussie (working class) men take pride that their partner stays home.
* Aussie guys say how it is – they don’t sugarcoat.
* It’s important that you get along with their family & friends.
* Casual daters. Don’t expect formal dinners and going out to the movies.
* Aussies don’t feel the need to define the relationship.
* When you’re in a relationship, you’ll be called the guy’s missus, even if you are not married.
* Environmentally conscious.
YT comment: “Me and my partner are both Australian but even different families have different ‘cultures’ so we had similar differences, my family was more bogan ‘shit talkers’ so making fun of each other is a sport, while my partners family is much more quiet and intellectual so it took a while for partner to understand my teasing was friendly and my family to realise he wasn’t uptight.”
Aussies find American culture uptight and more strict.
Australian culture is more sexually segregated. American women are more aggressive with men than Aussie women.
Americans might find Aussies too comfortable and at ease with others.
Family and friends are more important to Aussies.
Americans are more legalistic and individualist and ambitious.
Australians impute less meaning to their work. Australians are less interested in status and are less likely to boast.
Reverse Culture Shocks returning to America after moving to Australia
Aussie don’t tip. American service was far better than Australia but not anymore.
Americans place more importance on work. Shops shut earlier in Australia and all Aussie get a minimum of four weeks holiday a year.
Aussie girl: “I felt like I was too friendly in the South.”
American guy: “In America at a party, couples stick together while in Australia guys go with guys and women with women.”
Americans find a dramatic loss of convenience when they move to Australia.
Going back to America after living in Australia [CULTURE SHOCK]
American states are far more different from each other than Australian states. Fewer healthy food options in Australia. Having chats with strangers is more common and less risky in Australia. You feel safer in Australia. In American cities, you often have the stench of marijuana. That’s rare in Australia.
