Video Video Video Video Video Video Video Video Video Video
Looking at myself in these videos, I understand why I slept with more women in my first year in LA (about 20) than in my last 12.
In June of 1994, three months after coming to Los Angeles (I was just coming out of six years of bedridden illness and I was only at two-thirds strength, about where I remain today after 20 years of Chronic Fatigue Syndrome), I answered an ad for models in the LA Weekly. I had a couple of Polaroids taken by photographer Stefan Valero who gave them to agent Debbie Durkin.
Durkin called me and asked to represent me. She wanted to send me to Japan for modeling work (this never happened). She insisted that I take her two-day acting seminar On-Camera L.A. (cost was about $2000).
This, I later found out, was unethical and Durkin quit being an agent in 1999. She’s resurrected herself here.
I’m not bitter. Durkin got me more than a dozen auditions. I didn’t win any jobs. That was my fault. If I hadn’t taken her seminar, it would not have been profitable for her to represent me. Her initial interest gave me a reason to pursue acting seriously. Though I failed, it was a good journey. And I’ve got some video of myself from 1994.
I lost close to $10,000 in various acting scams in 1994. To pay for this, I lived out of my car for eight months.
I have a weakness for con artists because I have such a shaky sense of myself, I’m grateful to them for giving me a vision.
I also got scammed in December of 1995 by the book agent Lee Shore in Pittsburgh who got me a deal with Barclay House to publish my first book (a history of sex in film). This agent charged me for photocopying and other miscellaneous expenses (I think this ran to about $300).
Barclay House dropped me in July 1997 and I eventually landed through my own efforts at Prometheus Books (the book came out in June 1999 as A History of X).
What this literary agent did was unethical but I’m not upset because if she didn’t do things like this, she wouldn’t be able to represent so many wanna-be authors. Her initial patronage gave me the encouragement to pursue my dreams.
It’s a vulnerable feeling to want to be an actor or writer. Few people accord you any respect until you make a living from your art.
Yes, there are a ton of sharks out there to take advantage of you but that’s not the only way to look at the situation. Yes, the Debbie Durkins and Lee Shores of the world take your money, but in exchange they prop up your fragile image of yourself as an artist. Most of the time, this is probably bad, and causes people to waste time and money in pursuit of something that will never work out for them. But in a minority of cases such as mine, these folks are merely speed bumps on the road to, if not success, then to making a living as an artist (which is the main thing most wanna-be artists seek, I know it’s what I was primarily dreaming of (aside from sex) between 1994-1997, when it became a reality for me).
In late 1994, I started work (eventually moving in with the director and producer for a few weeks, no sex was exchanged) in the unpaid shot-on-video unreleased independent film Apricot Sky. I got second billing behind Rachel Neuwirth. Is it this naked Rachel Neuwirth?
The movie also featured Donna Neuwirth, Jim Gridly, Daniela Devore, Bruce Burns, Melissa Ashley, Kelly Sands, Jessica Rowan, Richard Bulick, and Gilbert Luna.
None of them became working actors let alone famous.
