With This Orgasm, I Thee Wed

The Assimilated Negro writes:

Whenever I’m on a date or something it’s sort of like yeah, blah blah, you like the museum, you like shopping, you like poetry, blahbity blah. And I’m always rocking the sly smile, and thinking, yeah you might like those things …. but you ain’t gonna be talkin’ about none of that ish when you’re cumming tonight. The only spoken words for this evening are: Oh. My. God.

It’s the ultimate equalizer. If you can get them all flushed and winded and out of control and trembling and just ….. mmmmm. You feel like the Lebron James of labias who just went baseline and dunked on her dome, and you want to stand there and taunt, “Take that!! What say your years of feminist empowerment theory now, beeotch???”

Cause that’s when it’s most satisfying, with these haughty you-can’t-do-nothing-for-me girls. Pffft.