The Paranoid Response

When I check up on friends who are going through a tough time, occasionally I get paranoid responses along the lines of why do you want to know?

So while I have stayed friends with them, I never again check in with the paranoid. Who needs the aggravation?

Hostile responses to innocent inquiries are not a good sign of mental stability. Why make it hard for people to care about you? When you increase the costs of talking to you, people naturally withdraw.

I once sent this girl flowers. She responded, “It’s too early for this.” I never again sent her flowers. She later told me how much she appreciated them, she was just afraid to show me that.

We train people how to respond to us. She trained me to hold back from loving her.

I like to greet people I know. Some people respond rudely, and so I never greet them again. If we’re going to talk, they’re going to have to start. I’m not giving anything.

I’ve driven across town to help an acquaintance and when I get there I see they’ve already solved the problem but they couldn’t be bothered to let me know (and thus save me a trip). So I don’t extend myself again to them.

About Luke Ford

I've written five books (see My work has been followed by the New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, and 60 Minutes. I teach Alexander Technique in Beverly Hills (
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