A Place For You

I just thought of a four-word phrase that sums up my approach to politics, sociology, recovery, self-help, spirituality, God and religion: “A place for you.”

We deserve a place to feel at home. Government policies should promote that. People should have freedom of association. We need to get rid of civil rights legislation which has destroyed the ability of most Americans to feel at home.

Spirituality, recovery, and self-help boil down to adrenaline management. People who feel at home usually can manage their adrenaline surges. Feeling at home calms down your central nervous system so you are less likely to act out.

A key part of feeling at home is that you know what the rules are.

Stanford University’s Fred Luskin says most Americans spend most of their waking hours trying to feel safe. So solutions to this problem that promote a feeling of safety are approaches to life that works. One way to tackle the problem of anxiety is to shut off things that can make us feel unsafe — such as our email and our phones and TV news. Another great way to feel safer in the world is to live in reality. When we accept that we can’t change the traffic around us, we live in reality. When we accept that we can’t change other people, we live in reality. When we reflect on how our selfishness has hurt everybody in our life, we live in reality. When we have an accurate sense of our bank account, our bills, and our earning, we live in reality. When we have at least three months of prudent reserve, we live in reality. When we are aware of how we spend our time, we live in reality. When we glide through life without frequent humiliation and intense conflict, we are in reality.

Forgiveness, happiness and health are largely about relaxing one’s defenses, notes Luskin. Generosity only comes from people who feel safe. To phrase this differently, people who feel safe tend to be generous. Alternatively, people who don’t feel safe are not generous.

Which communities have the most generosity per capita? The most homogeneous ones. People prefer to help people like themselves and few people care about outsiders.

About Luke Ford

I've written five books (see Amazon.com). My work has been covered in the New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, and on 60 Minutes. I teach Alexander Technique in Beverly Hills (Alexander90210.com).
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