I Hate Waiting For My Calls To Be Returned

It’s Saturday night. Where is she? Does she have cheating on her mind? Is she between another girls’ thighs?

I hate waiting for my calls to be returned. I feel unloved. As every minute ticks by, I feel less important. If I was a big shot, my calls would be returned right away. If she depended on me, she’d return my call right away. But she does not depend on me. I depend on her. Do I? Oh, God forbid.

I am a manly man, no? I am strong and independent. I blaze my own trail on this here blog. I’m not dependent on this woman. I do not need her. I’m not clingy, God forbid. I don’t chase her. Or do I? How much do I chase her? I give her lots of room, right?

So I called her motzi Shabbos. 6pm. That was almost two hours ago.

It’s Saturday night. What is she doing?

Why does she always wait until after Shabbat before she calls?

I told her that it was important to me that we spend Yom Kippur together. And then she does not call until I am at Kol Nidre.

Damn, at least I’m getting a blog post out of it.

I’m going to take the man’s role in this relationship. Therefore, I should make peace with being the pursuer. But it’s been almost a year now. I read that these things switch. First one party is the pursuer but if this role doesn’t switch then the relationship is doomed. One party can’t do all the pursuing until the end of time?

I judge my importance to people by how long they take to return my calls. I think this is a fair and accurate perception.

So how important am I to her? I am medium. She rarely goes a day without returning my call. At least I’ll get an email.

She told me that email was not an appropriate way to return her call, but email is the way she often returns my call.

What did that bloke Big say in Sex and they City? She can reach me whenever she wants, but I can’t reach her.

Well, that’s because she has a real job. I don’t have a real job. I have a patchwork of inadequate jobs and every month I’m falling further behind financially.

About Luke Ford

I've written five books (see Amazon.com). My work has been followed by the New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, and 60 Minutes. I teach Alexander Technique in Beverly Hills (Alexander90210.com).
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