I Oppose All Things Vibrating And Sensual

Nicholas blogs: My Moral Leader, Luke Ford, is against masturbation and all things vibrating and sensual. That’s because he studies Torah. Okay, so sometimes he succumbs to his yetzer hara. But not often. In fact, according to his memoir (not autobiography [for the longest time I was calling his memoir an autobiography thinking, incorrectly, that they’re the same thing, when, of course, they’re not!]) after his conversion Mr Ford didn’t masturbate for a whole year! Pretty impressive, huh? In fact, Horrid Boy broke the male masturbation abstinence record by 354 days. (The old mark was 11 days held by a 94 year old from Tashkent, Uzbekistan.) And people wonder how Luke Ford, despite being a porn blogging nudist, became the world’s number 2 (behind The Great Dennis Prager) moral leader.

About Luke Ford

I've written five books (see Amazon.com). My work has been covered in the New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, and on 60 Minutes. I teach Alexander Technique in Beverly Hills (Alexander90210.com).
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