The Elixir Of Love

I’m going to opera tomorrow night at Disney Hall. We’re going to see The Elixir of Love. My date says: "Please consult your advisory group re: proper Opera etiquette although I am not entirely convinced of their suaveness due to prior email content. Luckily, this is not the MET in NY, where formality is more de riggeur. Please do not bring any reading material. If you would like, it is always nice to print out a synopsis of the opera’s plot. Opera glasses will not be necessary because we have very good seats."

Khunrum emails: "Opera! zzzzzzzzz! Definitely a chick thing. Ever hear straight guys say "why don’t we go to the opera"? No way. "Let’s go to the Astros game"… "Let’s to the movies"…My first wife took me to the opera back when we were still married and didn’t dislike each other. It was boring as &#@%…I fell asleep, chin nodding on my chest, about a quarter of the way through. Hetero guy’s only go to the opera if the lady bought the tickets and they think there’s some "boomsing" at the end of the evening. I have two valid questions. What are you going to wear? That black suit, from way back when, can’t possibly fit your new "full figured" persona (are you going to rent a tux)? And question number two is, "why does she want to go to the opera with a guy who looks like Fidel Castro"?"

Chaim emails: "Do you own any sunglasses? Because you might want to wear them to be doubly sure nothing on stage interrupts your nap.”

About Luke Ford

I've written five books (see My work has been covered in the New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, and on 60 Minutes. I teach Alexander Technique in Beverly Hills (
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