I’m listening to Peter give the latest share from the Underearners Anonymous beginners phone meeting on Sundays at 8am PDT:
For me not to under-earn today, I have to be bigger than I think I am.
My first recording was #148. It’s interesting to see how far I have come in the last year and a half.
I came to this program four and a half years ago. Before that, I spent about 12 years in Codependents Anonymous and about 11 years in Debtors Anonymous. Those programs were great but my work situation changed in 2009 and I went from prosperity to almost no income. Earning became a struggle. Old patterns of behavior came up. I was a mess. I was hiding out.
I relate to the symptoms in this program, about wanting to hide out in life. I have a thinking problem that leads to a shrinking problem, a desire to be as small as possible, so small that people leave me alone. That’s a problem when trying to create a happy and abundant life.
I have carried over tools from Debtors Anonymous. I keep a written record of how I spend my time.
I now work as a fine arts photographer. When I came into UA, it was difficult for me to show my work. Nobody saw my work. I had a lot of jealousy and envy of other photographers who were doing well, people who were out there and visible. That conspired to keep me small.
The difference between then and now is that I have had a dozen solo exhibitions of my photography and been in dozens of group exhibitions. I show new work daily on social media. I’ve gone from nobody seeing my work to hundreds of thousands of people seeing my work.
I’ve won 31 awards for my photography. Before UA, I never won anything because I never felt good enough to enter anything.
If I want success, it helps for me to help other people be successful. The more I foster success in other people, the more it is available to me.
I worked the 12 Steps initially with a step partner and then I found a sponsor and worked the 12 Steps with her. It is a gift to have someone I can check in with regularly for support and guidance.
