Category Archives: Personal

Moving On Up

I love this journaling exercise where I write out things I admire about my friends (and scheme about how I can move up in social status for the sake of the Lord). I’m looking at my friends on FB and … Continue reading

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Jews 4 Gentiles

My rebbe says: Had you listened to me over the years you would now be on your second or third hot wife. You failed to even try establishing the program (the Luke Ford Diversity Hour) that might have made you … Continue reading

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Euphoric Recall Has Been A Major Party Of My Life

I never even heard of this term until last week. Now I seizing on it. It’s going to usher in a new level of sobriety for me. When an addict is in euphoric recall, you’re probably not emotionally sober. Pretty … Continue reading

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I Am A Jewish Chauvinist

My natural inclination is to think that Jews and all things Jewish are the best and that at all times and in all places they are superior to their non-Jewish alternatives. I converted to Orthodox Judaism. I changed my whole … Continue reading

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Forward!

* Friend: “So how much credit card debt do you have today?” Luke: “I think I have it under $40k.” Friend: “Where’s your spreadsheet showing exactly how much you owe today and what your projected payments are and when exactly … Continue reading

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Some people aren’t very spiritual

I was telling a friend about all the wonderful things God was doing in my life and he said, “Can you get sex with desirable women?”

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Last night, the Episcopal priest told me that the most spiritual person she knew was a gay trans rabbi

* Is there a name for what whites and asians feel when they drive into downtown LA? I had that crippling anxiety last night. I was briefly in Jew heaven when I found free parking a block away from the … Continue reading

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The Life Cycle Of The Blogger

Bloggers start out with exuberance. The hits come in, and the attention and the emails, and the growing circle of acquaintances. At first you get many detractors, but if your work blazes new ground, if you make a contribution, you … Continue reading

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The Victimhood Addiction

Somebody, through carelessness, let me down in a minor way last week and I immediately got a high from the feeling of victimhood, that people will always screw me over, poor ol me, people just trample all over me… It’s … Continue reading

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A Miracle!

While my father prayed earnestly to God about salvation, I would offer up secretly the proudest prayer a boy could think of: “Lord, make me a great blogger. Let me celebrate Your glory through social media and be celebrated myself. … Continue reading

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