I’m working Step Four and I’m having hard time listing any resentments because all resentments I develop are gone within a couple of days at the most. So my sponsor encourages me to list every resentment I’ve had recently that lasted more than 24 hours.
So I’m driving down the Ten freeway today behind a driver with his left blinker on for miles and I’m getting increasingly annoyed at the dope and when the lane to my right opens up and I can pass him, I have to fight my normal inclination to turn and give a dirty look to the idiot driver (unless he looks dark and dangerous). Now I’m traveling at about 60mph so even a useless glance to the left is a dangerous thing and with God’s grace, I don’t do it. Normally I do look long and hard at bad drivers, and that doesn’t do them much good, doesn’t do me much good, and puts other drivers at risk.
I think this is a good example of the destructiveness of resentment. Perhaps normal people can handle it (though it rarely if ever serves them), but for addicts it is deadly.
The more occupied I get with other people’s bad behavior (when there is nothing I can do about it), the more distracted I get from living my own vision (or my understanding of God’s vision for me).