If You Can’t Connect With People, You’ll Have To Connect To Something Else Such As A Process Or Substance

I tweeted yesterday: “The higher my quality of life, the more secure my attachment, the less hold my addictions have on me.”

Harel responded: “Luke, this really hit home with me. Can you expand on this?”

We are wired to connect. People with secure attachment connect with other people without much effort and tend to form long-lasting relationships. They’re consequently less likely to be unhinged. They’re less likely to be sports fanatics, compulsive debtors, or porn addicts. People with insecure attachment such as myself tend to obsess about the quality of their most important attachments and this reduces one’s ability to connect normally. People with avoidant attachment feel that they don’t need to connect to others. This is the hardest attachment pattern to shift. By contrast, people with insecure attachment can become secure, and people with secure attachment can become insecure, depending on who they attach to. We affect each other. The insecure tend to make people around them more insecure and the secure tend to make others feel more secure.

I know that when I’ve been surrounded by secure people, my attachment system calms down and I feel more secure and as a result, I act out less and I am less likely to needlessly damage my relationships with other people and with myself.

When I was a child, I was often miserable and I learned to escape by fantasizing about myself as a very important person (aka narcissism served to protect my wounded self). When my adult life did not work right, I tended to relapse to past coping mechanisms such as grandiose fantasy, sex and love addiction, TV and sports addiction, and hiding and biting.

All addictions tend to spiral. They all tend to be progressive and fatal. Loneliness kills more people than cigarettes. When you feel insecure, you will naturally isolate and be easily thrown by the buffeting winds of normal life.

The quality of one’s life correlates with the quality of one’s relationships. If you’re relating well to others, you feel less need to escape from your life through familiar compulsions.

Posted in Addiction, Attachment, Personal | Comments Off on If You Can’t Connect With People, You’ll Have To Connect To Something Else Such As A Process Or Substance

Driving California

Comments at Steve Sailer:

* Weren’t liberals arguing that the crime rates for illegals are relatively low because they want to keep a low profile? According to that logic, their accident rates should go up if you grant them driver’s licences.

Also why is the US the only western country that gives illegal immigrants drivers licences? If its such a good idea, why is no one following Uncle Sam’s enlightened example?

* My observation from the years I spent on LA freeways is that congestion limits people’s speed so much of the time that they don’t learn how to limit it themselves. They just go as fast as they can all the time, which is usually 32 mph but that magic moment when the traffic loosens up, it’s like the back straightaway at Talladega.

* Based on my own admittedly unscientific observations:

1. I don’t think the CA DMV denies anyone a license, unless they actually get into an accident during the behind-the-wheel portion of the test. There are too many noisy, unpleasant pressure groups that the DMV and the politicians would just rather not deal with: seniors, immigrants, etc. etc.

2. As someone involved in sales, a large part of my job is driving. I hate driving in the LA basin, because depending on the part of town you’re in, the drivers are super aggressive, distracted, or both. The San Fernando Valley is especially bad, most particularly the swarthy men with gold chains and shirts unbuttoned to their navels.

3. It used to be considered common knowledge that women were safer drivers than men, especially young women compared to young men. No more. Young women, thanks to the you-go-girrrlll ethos and a general get-out-of-my-way-I’m-more-important-than-you mindset are some of the worst, most aggressive drivers out there.

My own kid some years ago complained that her Nissan Sentra was a “clunker” because it wasn’t getting the gas mileage she expected and the brakes were wearing out too fast. I remarked that maybe it had something to do with her hard braking, general lead-footedness, and jackrabbit starts, which of course she denied. Then she asked “what’s a jackrabbit start?”

* The easiest way of ascertaining the driving capabilities of illegal aliens is looking at where they’re from. Is it bad? Then they’re worse than that, being the bottom of the barrel.

Interesting question: Is there any place in the world where the poor drive better than the rich?

I don’t think so. A big part of not crashing is being able to anticipate the future. If they had hardware with that kind of capability, they wouldn’t be poor. As with any pretty complicated task, navigating traffic is an iq test.

* The easiest way of ascertaining the driving capabilities of illegal aliens is looking at where they’re from. Is it bad? Then they’re worse than that, being the bottom of the barrel.

Interesting question: Is there any place in the world where the poor drive better than the rich?

I don’t think so. A big part of not crashing is being able to anticipate the future. If they had hardware with that kind of capability, they wouldn’t be poor. As with any pretty complicated task, navigating traffic is an iq test.

* There is a web site by that name: Narrative Collapse

Examples of current stories:

DC Police confirm that Corrina Mehiel was torturedStill refusing to disclose the perp’s immigration status

February KillingsWhen it comes to interracial killings, the media, television shows, and Hollywood movies all have a certain narrative they push. But does it reflect reality?…So far we have found 28 black on white killings that occurred in February of 2017. We have not found any white on black killings yet.

If media outlets weren’t abrogating their responsibility to do honest, unbiased reporting by deliberately and dishonestly pushing a false ‘narrative’, there would be nothing to ‘collapse’.

* It’s like the scene in Yes Minister where Sir Humphrey is teaching his minister how to discredit a critical report.

Humphrey: Say that may of its findings have been questioned.
Minister: What if they haven’t?
Humphrey: Well, question them. Then they have.

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What’s Next After the Russian Brouhaha Peters Out?

Comments at Steve Sailer:

* It will keep going and going and going. Russia will be the major issue at the next elections. You can sell anything for any amount of time.

And why shouldn’t they? What’s the penalty? You’re treating the press like gentlemen from the past who, when shown to be wrong, would retire from the discussion voluntarily. Who knew when to stop lying just because there’s a line one does not cross. Who had a sense of shame that would itch unbearably when they went too far.

It’s the current year, Steve.

* Yeah, the thing that gets me about this Trump-Russia supposed connection is that it just doesn’t make any sense, given the guy Trump.

People on the left seem to have no theory-of-mind. They seem to reason like this: it would be very, very evil to collude with Russia, and Trump is an very, very evil-doer; therefore, Trump colluded with Russia.

But whatever Trump’s faults may be, sneaky conspiratorial behavior is hardly among them. He can hardly keep his mouth shut. He’s going to go off on a grand utterly secret conspiracy with any number of people including a bunch of Russians? Why on earth would he attempt to do this? Why would his inclinations lie in that direction?

You could sort of see Richard Nixon trying to pull something like that off. But “if-it’s-in-my-head,it’s-out-of-my-mouth” Trump, for God’s sakes?

* My guess is that the half-life of the “Russia brouhaha” on the left is going to be very, very long, essentially infinite. They’re never going to let it die. It’s basically going to be this decade’s 2000 Florida recount, mixed up maybe with “Bush did 9/11.” Or, to put it another way, it’ll be Birtherism for Democrats. Even in the absence of evidence, it will just, at worst, dwindle down into the realm of “serious questions having been raised,” or a “cloud over the process” in public conversation, and an animating foundational legend for the Democrats going forward, to be used all at once to motivate their own partisans, discredit Republicans, and absolve themselves of any responsibility for losing in 2016. Basically, it will become the Democrats’ Dolchstoßlegende. The political and psychological appeal of having an immortal, unprovable but thus also un-disprovable conspiracy theory that implicates your enemies in a nefarious and monstrous act of perfidy that completely explains all your misfortune is considerable, too considerable to be abandoned.

* We also have the counterpart to the Megaphone: The Underphone.

People like Sailer scribbling away in relative obscurity being secretly read by major players. Quiet whispers between Deplorables in places like this and the halls of power. ShitPosters on the internet rattling cages everywhere they can. All passing on the secret knowlegde that 2+2=4.

* They run “stories,” which amount to nothing more than innuendo, in their mainstream news outlets — “This raises questions!” — “Russia: The story that won’t go away!”

And why is it “story?”

Well, because it’s in the newspapers that’s why! It “won’t go away” because they keep running stories about it.

Repeat and rinse.

* Obama’s National Security Adviser Susan Rice says “I leaked nothing to nobody” when asked about the Obama Surveillance Scandal. That means she leaked like a beer hound on a bladder-busting bender. Susan Rice is the monkey, and Obama is the organ grinder. President Trump will not punish the monkey and let the organ grinder go. President Trump will go after Obama.

Obama was the one who authorized the opening of the floodgates of raw electronic information. Obama was the one who did this for political reasons. Obama was sneakily using the power of the electronic eavesdropping ability of the United States to further his political goals.

We all know that Obama famously said he wanted to “transform” the United States. Obama’s “transformation” of the USA included the racial transformation of the USA into a third world hellhole. Obama used the advanced electronic surveillance system of the USA to make sure his “transformation” of the USA went on without interruption. Obama failed, President Trump defeated Hillary Clinton.

I want Al Pacino to play Susan Rice in the upcoming movie of the Obama Surveillance Scandal. I can’t wait to see how Pacino will deliver this line: “I leaked nothing to nobody.” Pacino might just underplay it to increase its dramatic impact.

Pacino, because he is such a studious craftsman at the job of acting, will even put the blue makeup under his lower eyelid like Susan Rice does. Al Pacino will do what he must to convincingly play his part. Richard III to Susan Rice; Pacino can do it.

* The point is that Trump isn’t having the predicted effect: he isn’t moving the culture in his direction. If anything, he’s moving it in the opposite direction. Progressives who would have hated the CIA for its spying on American citizens two years ago think its justified today. Sanctuary cities are probably more supported today than they were three months ago.

In other words, there has been a lot of ‘things are about to burst’ talk. The revelations regarding Rice are ‘about to break the whole thing wide open.’ But it doesn’t appear that way. The public are continuing to forgive the Obama administration; controversies aren’t weakening support for him; they’re strengthening distaste for Trump.

Unless things change, post Trump is not going to be a renewed Nationalism: its going to be progressivism on steroids.

Posted in America | Comments Off on What’s Next After the Russian Brouhaha Peters Out?

Purists Kill Whatever They Believe In

Dennis Prager writes:

According to The New York Times, 10 moderates, 15 conservatives, and eight other Republicans would have voted against the Republican repeal and replace Obamacare bill. So, then, 15 or so conservatives made it impossible to pass the bill favored by nearly every other Republican and by President Donald Trump. If that is the case, what we have here is another conservative example of purism and principle damaging another major opportunity to do good.
The first purist conservative example were the Never-Trumpers, who believed it was better for Hillary Clinton to be elected president and for the Left to have four more years of presidential power than for Donald Trump to win.
There were valid reasons to wonder whether Donald Trump was a conservative, and valid reasons to oppose him in the primaries. There were no valid reasons to oppose him in the general election. I said all these things then, and have thus far been validated beyond my wildest dreams.
In terms of policy, Donald Trump is a conservative dream. From appointing a conservative to the Supreme Court, to approving the Keystone XL pipeline, to weakening the fanatical, hysterical, and tyrannical EPA, to appointing an ambassador to the United Nations who has moral contempt for that immoral institution, to backing Israel, to seeking to reduce economy-choking regulations on business – indeed essentially everything conservatives would wish for in a president – Donald Trump is almost too good to be true.
But he’s still not good enough for those conservatives who remain Never-Trumpers or good enough for the House members of Freedom Caucus, at least with regard to the repeal and replace Obamacare bill that President Trump worked so hard to have passed.
It is quite possible that I and most other conservatives who supported the repeal bill agree with just about every criticism of the bill that House conservatives made.
But, just as in the general election the question wasn’t whether candidate Trump was our ideal, the question now wasn’t whether the bill was our ideal. The question during the election was: What will happen if the Democrats and the Left win the presidency again? And the question now was and remains: What will happen if the Republicans don’t pass a bill favored by all but 25-30 Republican Congressmen and, most important, by President Trump?
But purists don’t ask such questions. They live in a somewhat different world than the rest of us who actually agree with them on everything. Because we don’t ask what is ideologically pure and true to our principles. We ask: What is closest to our ideology and to our principles?
Or, to put it another way, we have one larger principle than even the conservative ones we share with the purists – defeating the left because that is the No. 1 priority of those who cherish Western Civilization and regard America as the last best hope for humanity.
The conservative Never-Trumpers and conservatives who voted for Trump had everything in common except for that overriding principle. Conservatives who voted for Trump believed that defeating the Left is the overriding moral good of our time. We are certain that the Left (not the traditional liberal) is destroying Western Civilization, including, obviously, the United States. The external enemy of Western Civilization are the Islamists (the tens or perhaps hundreds of million of Muslims who wish to see the world governed by Sharia), and the internal enemy of the West is the left. What the left has done to the universities and to Western culture at the universities is a perfect example.
Passing even a tepid first bill to begin the process of dismantling the crushing burden of Obamacare would have been an important first step in weakening the left – not only by beginning to repeal Obamacare but by strengthening the Trump presidency and the president’s ability to go forward with tax-reform and other parts of his conservative agenda. The president is now damaged, and the Republican Party looks ludicrous – what other word can one use to describe the party that passed 60 resolutions in seven years to repeal Obamacare and then can’t pass a bill to repeal or replace Obamacare when it is given the House, the Senate, and the presidency?
Make no mistake, ye of pure heart, this may well be the last time in your lifetimes that Republicans control both Houses of Congress and have a conservative president. And understand that time is not on our side; there are congressional elections in a year and nine months.
Providence or luck made it possible to have a conservative president. Act accordingly.

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It’s Time for Conservatives to Celebrate This President

Dennis Prager writes:

Do conservatives — or non-leftists, for that matter — appreciate just how terrific Donald Trump has been as president? And how lucky we are that he won the presidency?
I don’t know the answer.
What I do know is that they ought to be deeply appreciative of him, and deeply grateful for luck or providence, and certainly for Trump himself, that he was elected president. First, it is unlikely that any other Republican would have defeated Hillary Clinton. Second, he has not only surpassed many of our expectations but also thus far governed in a manner more consistent with conservative principles than any president since Ronald Reagan, and arguably Calvin Coolidge.
I say this as one who vigorously opposed him during the Republican contest for the nomination. I said from the beginning, in print and on my radio show, that I would support Trump if he became the nominee, but I dreaded his becoming the nominee. His comments about the size of his hands, Sen. John McCain as a prisoner of war and former President George W. Bush lying about weapons of mass destruction in Iraq; his lack of any history as a conservative; and the seeming absence of a filter between his brain and his Twitter app made it difficult for me to imagine him as a serious president of the United States.
Nevertheless, once he was nominated, I just as vigorously supported him on the simple and — I still believe — unanswerable grounds that while no one could be certain how Trump would govern, we were all certain about how Hillary Clinton would govern — as a leftist. And I truly believed that another four years of left-wing rule would mean the end of America as it was founded to be.
That is why I found the arguments of the conservatives who were Never-Trumpers, many of whom I work with, admire and count as friends, not just unpersuasive but incomprehensible. That a conservative could prefer Clinton — which was the only upshot of a Never Trump position — to any Republican could only mean that we have an entirely different understanding of the damage the left has done and would have done to America and the Western world if Clinton had won.
I remember Never-Trumpers calling my radio show and asking me how I could possibly believe that, if elected president, Trump would honor his commitment to nominate to the Supreme Court one of the conservatives on the list of judges from which he promised to choose.
He has honored that promise.
And given the supreme importance of the Supreme Court, isn’t that reason enough for conservatives to celebrate his presidency?
He has repealed many of President Obama’s energy regulations that would have strangled the American economy. He doesn’t believe that carbon-induced warming of the planet will destroy the human race — the greatest of the innumerable hysterias the left manufactures and then believes in.
Isn’t that reason enough for conservatives to celebrate his presidency?
He has appointed a woman who, as a billionaire, could have easily devoted her life to enjoying her wealth but instead has fought for American students and their parents to be able choose their schools just as the wealthy do. And he has taken on the teachers unions, the only group that has ever given American teachers a bad name.
Isn’t that reason enough for conservatives to celebrate his presidency?
He has appointed as ambassador to the United Nations a woman who is calling the U.N. the naked emperor that it is. And now, America is backing, rather than subverting, Israel in that benighted institution.
Isn’t that reason enough for conservatives to celebrate his presidency?
By building a wall along our southern border, he is reasserting the belief that America actually has borders.
Isn’t that reason enough for conservatives to celebrate his presidency?
And then there is tax reduction and simplification so that private citizens can keep more of their money and corporations can be far more productive.
Isn’t that reason enough for conservatives to celebrate his presidency?
And now, he has vowed, after decades of American obsequiousness, to confront the sociopathic North Korean regime.
The American media — most particularly, its elite — no longer even feigns objective reporting. It is solely an arm of the left and the Democratic Party, its task being the delegitimization of the Trump presidency.
If you live among liberals, it is not chic to express support for President Trump. But it is time more of us did. If people abandon you because you support this president, they weren’t serious friends to begin with. And, sorry to say, they aren’t worthy of you. Somehow, you have been able to look beyond their support for the America- and West-destroying left. But they can’t look beyond your support for the first conservative president in a generation — and the gutsiest perhaps ever.
If the president’s approval rating really is in the 30s, this makes overt support for him all the more imperative. Whether you like his tweets or not, his fate is our fate.

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