Comments: It reminds me of the blurb from the Xenophobe’s Guide to Germany (which I haven’t read – I read the Swiss one, and found it hilariously accurate) – which is of course not meant to be accurate, instead to amuse via the stereotypes; we all know how inaccurate stereotypes are.
“Teutonic torment
In every German there is a touch of the wild-haired Beethoven striding through forests and weeping over a mountain sunset, grappling against impossible odds to express the inexpressible. This is the Great German Soul, prominent display of which is essential whenever Art, Feeling, and Truth are under discussion.
Angst breeds angst
For a German, doubt and anxiety expand and ramify the more you ponder them. They are astonished that things haven’t gone to pot already, and are pretty certain that they soon will.
Longer must be better
Most Germans apply the rule that more equals better. If a passing quip makes you smile, then surely by making it longer the pleasure will be drawn out and increased. As a rule, if you are cornered by someone keen to give you a laugh, you must expect to miss lunch and most of that afternoon’s appointments.
Angst breeds angst
Because life is ernsthaft, the Germans go by the rules. Schiller wrote, “obedience is the first duty,” and no German has ever doubted it. This fits with their sense of order and duty. Germans hate breaking rules, which can make life difficult because, as a rule, everything not expressly permitted is prohibited.”
And the blurb from the Xenophobe’s Guide to Americans
Friends without friendship
Americans are friendly because they just can’t help it; they like to be neighbourly and want to be liked. However, a wise traveller realises that a few happy moments with an American do not translate into a permanent commitment of any kind. Indeed, permanent commitments are what Americans fear the most. This is a nation whose fundamental social relationship is the casual acquaintance.
It’s not a ‘good day’ unless it’s a ‘good hair day’
When asked in a survey what they notice first in a potential mate, the answer from both men and women was hair. Having good hair is more important than having a college education or a happy family.
Americans shoot from the lip
American speech is remarkably straightforward. They tell it as it is, even when it’s not a particularly good idea to do so. Linguistic subtlety, innuendo, and irony that other nations find delightful puzzle the Americans, who take all statements at face value, weigh them for accuracy, and reject anything they don’t understand.
Always aim to win
Winning is central to the American psyche. As American football coach Vince Lombardi put it, ‘Winning isn’t everything. It’s the only thing’. Virtually every event in American life, from school graduation to marriage to buying an automobile, is structured so that one party wins, or at least comes out looking better than any of the other participants.
That last one should include that part from the Patton speech of how Americans love a winner and detest a loser.
There is a section detailing how every American wants to distance themselves from every other American by saying that they are unlike the “average American.” Sounds like Lake Wobegon.
