Tough Time On The Rabbinic Job Market

I sympathize with our future moral leaders. It’s such a difficult and lonely job.

I know a rabbinics student or two who’ve landed a plum job, but the overwhelming problem facing most of the rabbinics students I know is that they are so socially retarded only the severely autistic would hire them.

We’re talking dweebs. Ugly. Mishapen. Even hideous.

Who would select these characters to lead their congregation?

I prefer my rabbis handsome. I have to spend so much time looking up at them up on the bima pontificating about immigration and global warming and other matters about which they know nothing, it is important to me that this be a pleasant aesthetic experience.

I think it is too much to expect wisdom from our rabbis, but please sir, by the bowels of Christ I beseech you, bestow some kindness and cuteness.

About Luke Ford

I've written five books (see My work has been noted in the New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, and 60 Minutes. I teach Alexander Technique in Beverly Hills (
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