Which Frum Girls Are Best?

"A tefillin date is one in which the boy brings his tefillin along to the restaurant so if he ends up spending the night with the shaina maidel he won’t chos vesholom miss Shachris in the morning before work or college."

From the TefillinDate website (MySpace):

 
Bais Yaakov Girls. The uniform, stockings and deceptively innocent look…
Lubavitch Girls. There’s nothing like hearing Chaya Mushka scream "YECHI HAMELECH!!!" while…
Chassidish Girls (Satmar, Viznitz, Skver, etc). They may dress like it’s 1820, talk with a lisp and not shave…
Modern Orthodox Girls. It’s worth driving all the way to Teaneck or Riverdale to… hear her sing Yad Achim…
Sefardi girls. I just love hearing them ululate! They also know how to cook a damn good malawach!
Persian girls. Granted, you’ll have to be 40, bald, hairy, overweight, sleezy, 5ft 4 and driving a Mercedes to get one that’s 18, but if you can it’s gotta be worth it! T

About Luke Ford

I've written five books (see Amazon.com). My work has been covered in the New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, and on 60 Minutes. I teach Alexander Technique in Beverly Hills (Alexander90210.com).
This entry was posted in Orthodoxy, Sex and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.