How Do We Throw The Bums Out Of Shul?

I’m tired of going to shul to get closer to God and finding a bunch of dirty smelly beggars bumming my trip.

Midway through my Amidah (Judaism’s main prayer) tonight, I was rudely interrupted by two psychos yelling about our charity distribution (morning and evening I like to put a nickel or dime in the tzedakkah box).

Not cool.

Why can’t these bums move down the street to the black neighborhood to do their fighting?

When I go to shul, I want to be surrounded by good people with high morals, not losers with perverse addictions.

This one deeply disturbed bloke tonight wheeled a shopping cart and two tall collections of boxes into the Beit Midrash. After the Ma’ariv service, I took it upon myself to wait by the door until he left.

When he finally got around to going (after having his say with the rabbi about a cell phone he was going to get), the guy dragged his stuff out, thanked me profusely in Hebrew and Yiddish, then reached into his pocket and offered me a few dollars.

Do I look like a bum to you?

About Luke Ford

I've written five books (see Amazon.com). My work has been covered in the New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, and on 60 Minutes. I teach Alexander Technique in Beverly Hills (Alexander90210.com).
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