Monster Massive Rave At Los Angeles Sports Arena Saturday Night

About 100,000 hit the event — tickets were $50 — at 3939 South Figueroa Los Angeles, California 90037.

At least 50,000 of these were hot women. Many of them were barely dressed, we’re talking undies and bras and that’s about it.

Most of the women were in lingerie. One chick had a tie on.

We’re talking hot sweaty underaged bodies ululating to rave music. Everyone looked fit. The guys looked gay. The women looked slutty.

It was America’s largest Halloween music festival featuring such DJs as Paul van Dyk, Armin van Buuren, Judge Jules, Markus Schulz, Lee Coombs, Felix Da Housecat, Fischerspooner, Olav Basoski.

It was cold. The fog rolled in.

Those in their thirties felt old and out of it. It was mainly a teen crowd.

There was all sorts of immorality going on — dirty dancing, making out, rubbing, all sorts of behavior expressly forbidden by the Torah.

The visuals were amazing — beautiful lighting on stage. They had jumbotrons.

I imagined tens of thousands of people went home afterwards and committed all sorts of acts of fornication completely forbidden by Jewish law and common decency.

I wonder how many babies were conceived in the aftermath of this danceathon?

About 50 people tried to rush the gate to get in without paying for a ticket. The police got some of them.

A friend tried to hit the Robertson branch for free wifi this afternoon. She found three cars already parked there to suck in the free wifi.

My friend went to the Overland branch and found it similarly overrun by homeless in their cars sucking up the free wifi and powering their laptops and printers.

Then she hit the Beverly Hills Public Library where you needed a library card (needed proof of BH residence to get one) to get the free wifi.

About Luke Ford

I've written five books (see My work has been covered in the New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, and on 60 Minutes. I teach Alexander Technique in Beverly Hills (
This entry was posted in Party and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.