Burt Kearns blogs on TabloidBaby:
Urblogger, performance artist, genius savant and Air Supply fan Luke Ford does his latest, pointed, autistically focused and totally characteristic interview with writer Marlise Kast, who’s getting lots of ink for her book Tabloid Prodigy, and only recently getting a few kicks in the butt because of the hypocricy between the covers.
And Luke’s attempt to get to the soul of the woman whose book carries the subtitle Dishing the Dirt, Getting the Gossip, and Selling My Soul in the Cutthroat World of Hollywood Reporting reveals her to be something of a prig:
Writes Luke:
Marlise does write a lot in the book about preserving the treasure of her virginity… I had to find out if her virginity was still in tact, and if so, did I have a chance to take it…
His mission was to find out the passage in her book in which Marlise descrives offering up her treasured virginity at the age of 23.
Marlise, a self-described “proud Christian” who dedicates her book of scumbaggery and unethical shenanigans to “my heavenly Father, in whom I put my trust” while bragging within and in radio interviews about her greatest scoop— catching Don Johnson dipping solo into a hotel for a few hours with a bag full of sex toys, responds to Luke’s deflowering query:
Luke,
I just read your blog and was somewhat saddened by your introduction to the interview. Although I considered your questions extremely insightful, I’m not sure I quite understand your ultimate purpose in including me on lukeford.net. The fact that you "wanted a chance at my virginity" is not only insulting but extremely rude and unprofessional. Perhaps you can understand why I have no intention of answering any more of your questions.
Marlise has been pimping herself as a tabloid vet, adrenaline junkette and outdoorsy sexpot. But though she’s hoping to cash in on dishing it out, she can’t take it when it’s dished back. Looks like Marlise is no tabloid babe or prodigy, after all; only a confused young woman whose publisher packaged her wacky memoir as a tabloid keeper so readers might think it’s a followup to Burt Kearns’ classic Tabloid Baby.
Luke finds the passage anyway. And with that and his life’s work, he carries on where Howard Stern left off when he dropped from the public eye. Luke is the real tabloid prodigy. Read his Marlise story here. This is a guy who deserves his own reality show.
