I’ve Decided Against Marrying Chayyei Sarah

I’ve been going back and forth about Chayyei eversince June 2004 when she described the Protocols blog I had taken over as a "chillul hashem" (desecration of G-d’s name).

Most of what she writes is sweet and brave. She dishes out less cruelty in her writing in a year than I do in a day.

Needless to say, she’s more observant of the Torah.

Here she lists 12 things she likes about living in Israel, including:

Though just as difficult as the one in New York (for me, anyway), the dating scene in Israel is nowhere near as cruel as that in the Big Apple. When I go to singles events where there are a lot of native Israelis, I find that the men will look me in the eye and be sincerely interested in talking to me, even if it’s just to be friendly. In New York, people don’t bother talking to you unless they think that it will go somewhere (whatever that means to them, if you know what I mean). In general, I find Israeli men to be much more friendly than Americans, even if their dating habits are just as inscrutable to me.

Chayyei went to the same yeshiva as Noah Feldman. She blogs:

a) I’m sorry I called him an a**hole. That is an ad hominem attack, completely useless and peurile. I didn’t receive any complaints about it, but I myself feel that it was beneath my dignity to use that particular word.

b) I have been quite disturbed by much of the response in the blog world (more specifically, in the comments to blogs), in which Jews across the Orthodox spectrum have basically proven that Feldman is correct: we ARE a bunch a racist, close-minded jerks. People! Argue his piece on its merits!

c) Case in point: vulgar arguments to the effect that Feldman was so overcome by sexual desire for a "shiksa" that he couldn’t control his impulse to leave Orthodoxy behind, is sick.

I don’t see anything sick about that last argument. Most men are led around by their dicks. Noah may be that noble exception, but he chose to put his love life in the New York Times to take a shot at his yeshiva, and therefore I see nothing wrong with people taking him up on the point.

But lest you think my imaginary (and entirely one-sided) relationship with Chayyei is all lollipops and blowjobs, you should know what killed my latest infatuation for her — that she taught a class called "Loving Yourself and Others."

I’ll put up with a lot from a woman — PMS, monogamy, monotony, chastity, tears  — but I’ll never sanction teaching a class on how to love yourself. My morals are not that flexible.

I don’t care if I have to live all by myself…with love distant and obscure.

About Luke Ford

I've written five books (see Amazon.com). My work has been covered in the New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, and on 60 Minutes. I teach Alexander Technique in Beverly Hills (Alexander90210.com).
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