Gentlemen, Start Your Engines – Danielle Berrin Now Single!

A month ago, the Jewish Journal Calendar Girl wrote about her relationship with a rabbi (the bloke who leads the twice monthly Friday night service at Ikar). Shortly thereafter, the Jewish people’s brightest hope for the future broke up over what I’ll assume were musical differences.

A kindly inquiring email on this topic by your humble reporter was not answered by Danielle.

I’m now batting 0-2 in my emailing to Miss Berrin.

I’m starting to get the hint.

I peruse each issue of the Journal hoping to find Danielle’s summary philosophy on the meaning of the story she’s just covered.

This week I hit paydirt with the following paragraph:

While Heeb’s secularist, cultural attitude towards Judaism has ample room for overbearing Grandmothers, the self-hating Jew shield and shallow Jewish pride, it doesn’t much comment on the shared values implicit in such a community.

Why doesn’t the Journal relieve her of reporting duties and allow her to cut loose with her profound perspectives on living?

I love the subhead on her rebbitzen article: "They also serve: Rabbis’ spouses prove as diverse as roles they fill"

Yeah, some of these spouses are so diverse that they are of the same sex as their partner. In Australia, we called them "poofters."

Until I became spiritual, I’d call any guy I hated a "faggot."

As a kid, I loved playing "smear the queer." We’d give a guy a football and then all tackle him in a healthy heterosexual way. The pleasure we took from this was hale and hearty, not queer and perverse.

Given that the Jewish Journal Calendar Girl blog was last updated Aug. 18, it appears to need life support much more urgently than its last subject — the recovering Joan Hyler.


About Luke Ford

I've written five books (see My work has been covered in the New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, and on 60 Minutes. I teach Alexander Technique in Beverly Hills (
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