Sarah Palin Heats Half Of The Homes In Alaska

Jeff Taylor writes that Sarah is so hot that

  • Bob Dole threw his Viagra away after seeing her on Glenn Beck’s show.
  • Bill Clinton just offered her an internship.
  • Half of all homes in Alaska are heated by her.
  • Palin was once sued by Roy Cooper for contributing to global warming.
  • Her pinned-up hairdo is mandated by the Alaskan Wildlife Commission because when she wears it down, the state’s ice caps melt and polar bears drown.
  • She was banned from Abercrombie & Fitch after making employees feel unattractive while shopping for her kids.

About Luke Ford

I've written five books (see My work has been noted in the New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, and 60 Minutes. I teach Alexander Technique in Beverly Hills (
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