Biblical Humor

From my live cam chat:

123:  Q. What kind of man was Boaz before he married Ruth?
123:  A. Ruthless.
123:  Q. What do they call pastors in Germany ?
123:  A. German Shepherds. 
123:  Q. Who was the greatest financier in the Bible?
123:  A. Noah He was floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation.
123:  Q . Who was the greatest female financier in the Bible?
123:  A. Pharaoh’s daughter. She went down to the bank of the Nile and drew out a little prophet.
QuixoticLass:  ok that one is cute
123:  Q. What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible?
khunrum:  you should have quit with the Noah one
123:  A. Jehovah drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden in a Fury. David’s Triumph was heard throughout the land. Also, probably a Honda, because the apostles were all in one Accord.
123:  Q.. Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible?
123:  A. Samson. He brought the house down.
SoWhat:  WTF
khunrum:  good one
123:  Q. What excuse did Adam give to his children as to why he no longer lived in Eden ? 
123:  A. Your mother ate us out of house and home.
123:  Q. Which servant of God was the most flagrant lawbreaker in the Bible?
123:  A. Moses. He broke all 10 commandments at once.
SoWhat:  ARE U MOCKING GOD?
123:  Q. Which area of  Middle East was especially wealthy?
123:  A. The area around Jordan . The banks were always overflowing.
123:  Q. Who is the greatest babysitter mentioned in the Bible?
123:  A. David. He rocked Goliath to a very deep sleep.
QuixoticLass:  are you trying to save money by not getting haircuts?  I’ll donate to the save Levi’s social life fund, if that will help.
YourMoralLeader:  u dont like it?
123:  Q. Which Bible character had no parents?
123:  A. Joshua, son of Nun.
QuixoticLass:  dude, you’re easy to resist in that mode.
123:  Q. Why didn’t they play cards on the Ark ?
123:  A. Because Noah was standing on the deck. (Groan.)                                                                                                                                                                                           
123:  PS… Did you know it’s a sin for a woman to make coffee?
123:  Yup, it’s in the Bible. It says . . ‘He-brews’

About Luke Ford

I've written five books (see Amazon.com). My work has been covered in the New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, and on 60 Minutes. I teach Alexander Technique in Beverly Hills (Alexander90210.com).
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