Do I Seem Gay To You?

When I signed up for a roommate matching service in 1997, they automatically placed me in the gay section.

I remember calling around for a roommate, and everyone I spoke to was gay, and I wondered what was going on.

Now on Facebook’s Speed Date application, I have a bunch of people winking at me. The problem? They’re all guys. One is named SnuggleBum.

What message am I sending to the universe to receive these winks?

Are my jeans too tight? Is my interior decorating too exquisite?

Khunrum emails: "You’re as queer as a $3 bill. You’ll never squelch the Gay rumors until you marry. I say, keep the chin whiskers and ask Emma for her hand. Then the worst people will say of you is that you’re "Bearding"…or give it up. Drop the Hebrew shtick and start a new website…"

Chaim Amalek emails:

Over forty, never married, no kids, no real responsibilities to others (not even to a gold fish) leads many to jump to such conclusions.  (Believe me, I know.)  On the other hand, if you were gay, likely you would be living in a swell sort of place with many fine furnishings.

Emma – you need her now more than ever.  I know she’s happily Roman Catholic (to your somewhat less happily Jewish), but like Paris, she is well worth a Mass.

About Luke Ford

I've written five books (see My work has been followed by the New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, and 60 Minutes. I teach Alexander Technique in Beverly Hills (
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