Greg Leake reacts to this week’s Torah Talk:
Hi Luke and Rabbs,
Thanks a lot for addressing the questions I posed. I think now that maybe some of the situations i’ve seen that involved a well-to-do, prominent Orthodox Jew getting together with a (good-looking) goy may have been a case of him meeting her after she was already in the conversion process.
Rabbs, my wife and I have talked over your idea of moving to the beach, and we have come to the conclusion that it is a really, really good idea.
Why do I say that?
In the LAPD, the third phase in their progress from academy to retirement is called “hitting the wall.” Out here in the regular world we know this as burn-out. I don’t know what all the internal and external factors are that have been influential to you, but I would say that you are pretty close to burn-out.
I’ve seen a lot of burnout, and the way I would describe it is that the mental part of us keeps trying to hold up all of the obligations and responsibilities, all of the internal contradictions, all of the demands of other people. But at a certain point the body and the emotions, which are closer to the animal kingdom, just start to say the hell with it. They say look, mental part, you’ve been taking us down this road, and we ain’t getting no payoff. And the body and emotions start to exhibit symptoms. I’ve known some powerful, high-placed guys who finally ran into the wall. And their body and emotions just stopped cooperating with them. The body and emotions just want to have a good life. They want to run around and have some fun, get laid, relax and take it easy, and all the mental structures that the mind wants to hold up are meaningless to them.
Most of the time when people hit the wall or get burnout, they start milking it. They make certain that they’re taking every single vacation day, sick day, personal day. They start coordinating all these days with holidays and basically do everything they can do to back away from the job. You try to get home earlier, to take week-long vacations in Big Bear and Big Sur and try to minimize the amount of time and effort on the job. If they’re lucky they can keep this going until it’s time for the pension.
Now with Luke, Orthodox Judaism has been a kind of refuge, and maybe it still is. However, Rabbs, you have pretty much fought every fight, and frankly communities are not always the right answer for everyone. I think you can probably still be a very good Orthodox Jew and not live in a specific community. Sure, when you move you take yourself with you. At the same time, sometimes a move can instantly take 50% of your problems off your back. And that’s a lot. Sometimes a move can give you time to regroup in order to try some new possibilities. (Hell, maybe you could even give surfing lessons… )
My wife and I hope that you can swing it. I can only see good things happening because of it. You know, I’ve never told you, but I completely, 100% agree with you on all your points about ending the cycle of abuse with kids. And I’ve always appreciated your honesty about yourself and your milieu. We really believe that your proposed move would be a good thing for you.
