How Rabbis Waste Time

Rabbi Daniel Pressman of Saratoga, CA, tells Slate: "People always e-mail me stuff like, ‘Oh, Rabbi, you should see this article,’ or, ‘Click on this YouTube link, there’s a funny Passover video.’ The job itself provides opportunities for wasting time. Personally, for me, YouTube is one of the most treacherous locations on the Web … You can get in there and not be seen for a week."

Lindsay, an NFL cheerleader, says: "One big thing we procrastinate on is tanning. We have to have color, because our uniforms are really light. But we have practices five times a week, and you don’t want to go in to practice smelling like tanning stuff—you’re already sweating, and you can’t spray and go to practice, anyhow, because it’ll all come off. It’s just disgusting. So you wait until 24 hours before the game, and then you go lay in a tanning bed for 10 to 12 minutes—just to get your body warm—and then you go right into the spray area to get sprayed. And then you can’t shower for eight hours, so you go home and you stink and you smell, and the next morning you’re all dark.”

Laura, an exotic dancer in Kansas City, MO, says: “We make our money two ways: onstage and with table dances. … I’ve seen girls just sit in the back and complain—they’re like, ‘Oh, these guys are assholes, they don’t want any dances, I’m broke,’ and da-da-da-da-da. And I’m just like, ‘OK, you just don’t want to sit out there and talk to these guys,’ which is what you have to do. You have to conversate—you have to be friendly and fun and all that crap, and if you don’t want to do that, you probably aren’t going to make that much money."

About Luke Ford

I've written five books (see My work has been covered in the New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, and on 60 Minutes. I teach Alexander Technique in Beverly Hills (
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