The Jewish Journal.com is getting pretty edgy!
I wonder if the Torah permits the use of sexual surrogates.
Barbara Streisand plays a hands-on sexual healer in “Meet the Fockers”
Want more Yenta? Visit AskYourYenta.com
To Ms. Yenta,
I have a sexual question and it has taken me time to even consider asking this question but here it goes. I have had a long term sexual problem (Premature Ejaculation) which I have not been able to cure. I have tried the silly Kegel exercises and they cause me pain and frustration. I recently have heard about sexual surrogates. Surrogates being sex therapists who actually engage in sex with the patient in order to help their patients with their problems. I’m wondering if you know anything about surrogates and if they are a good choice or just new age hookers?
*Thank you*
-from Stephen J
Dear Stephen,
Thank you for your brave honesty! For you, I learned about sex surrogates. I am now a HUGE fan of this concept. For those of you not aware of sexual surrogacy, it is a medical route to sexual assistance. Ie, you go see a doctor who then helps you with your sexual self in a “triad” with a third person, the sexual surrogate. This person actually assists you manually in learning how to be more intimate and sexually adept.
Prostitutes far and near often speak of their job as a sex worker as one of a sex therapist. Depending on the hooker and depending on the John, this is a place for acting things out emotionally via sex, off the grid. This work, for the happy hooker, can be really transformative.
The difference, however, between a prostitute and a sexual surrogate is the medicalization and legalization of the practice. One woman touching you and teaching you is usually illegal, whereas the other is sanctioned by a doctor with whom she works in conjunction. For more on legit sexual surrogates, see IPSA, The International Professional Surrogates Association.
In his pulp novel, Counsel For The Damned, author Neil Montefiore Fleishman writes about how the first five hours of marriage make or break every union. He has a theory stating that men are either born lovers, or aren’t, and that this shows in those few hours past the threshold. Sexual surrogacy is a fabulous challenge to the notion that a man can’t learn to be a phenomenal lover. Think about Footloose. If Kevin Bacon can teach that chump to dance, then anyone can learn to make love like a pro.
