If you only knew how manly I’ve been of late, you’d bow down to me.
If you put me with women who feel safe and relaxed, the odds are good that at least one out of ten will find me attractive.
I hate clubs and bars. Those aren’t my scene. I love Shabbat dinners. I’m at my best. Others are at their best. There’s no rush. Everyone is dressed nice and behaving nicely. This is the way to connect.
I love shul. I love church. Houses of God make women feel safe. When women feel unsafe, they’re not going to be open to you no matter how cool you try to be.
I can be a creepy guy because I have a bizarre sense of humor. I know about making others feel unsafe. I know my blog is like nails on a blackboard to much of my community.
I have about the worst people skills around, but if you put me around a friendly Shabbos table, I come out of my shell and behave.
Same with a good work environment. Or with school. If you can just find the opportunity to keep showing up to place where there are people you want to connect with, in time if you have any quality at all, you’ll start to connect with some of them.
As Woody Allen said, 90% of life is just showing up. If you just show up to shul every day or every week, if you just show up regularly to some place where people are dedicated to similar things to you, you’ll likely connect with others.
My greatest flaw is my inability to connect with others. Therefore you shouldn’t listen to me? No. Because I have keenly felt this big gaping hole in my life for the past 35 or so years, I’ve thought a lot about these issues and have some clarity. I know I need a home, a shul, a press club, a place to hang out with people who have similar interests to mine. No matter how weird I get, I make sure I have a home in the wider world to connect.
If you show up to church or synagogue or a book club or press club every week, you are inevitably going to meet members of the opposite sex who will soon feel safe around you. Then you develop rapport, you each let down your boundaries and in time she’ll let you inside. And once that’s accomplished, you can start thinking straight again.
I am not happy without a woman in my life. I’m just not in balance. Without a woman, I get really weird. With a woman, I become normal.
Every girlfriend I’ve had has civilized me (though most of this has been lost once we’ve separated).
Friends are easy to lose. Though it feels like the worst thing in the world, you’ll have to make peace with many friendships having a season in the sun and then they die. But if you ever turn an enemy into a friend, that should last forever. That’s the most powerful bond because you each want to believe in how wonderful you are that you overcame such giant obstacles to connect with someone you hated.
Here are some cool and best-selling books on these topics:
How To Captivate A Man, Make Him Fall In Love With You And Give You The World!
Bring Back A Lost Love! The Original Bring Back A Lost Love Resource! You Can Save Your Relationship, Save Your Marriage & Get Your Lover Back No Matter How Hopeless Your Situation Appears. Read All The Rave Reviews!
1000 Questions For Couples By Michael Webb Relationship Expert. What You Absolutely Must Know About Your Relationship – Test Your Compatibility And Grow Deeper In Love. For Those Dating, Married Or Even In A Long Distance Relationship. Couples Have Even Used It To Stop A Divorce.
