There’s a freakin’ blessing in Judaism for everything but blowjobs. Saturday night I fled shul after havdalah, skipping the obligatory blessing for the new moon jazz.
"Why did you leave?" asked a friend.
"Because I’ve done enough Jewish stuff today."
"Ehhh!" he replied. "Wrong answer!"
He proceeded to give me some complicated Chabad interpretation for why tonight is not the right night.
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