Since our fling in late 2005 and early 2006, I’ve often hoped that erotic photographer Holly Randall would give up her profession and become my Jewish wife. We just fit together so well. (Don’t have a dirty mind!)
Thursday afternoon, we had this:
HollyRandall: I want to do a portrait of you
HollyRandall: though not sure when
Luke: I would be greatly honored
Luke: you know i’d love it
HollyRandall: even if i shot it in your hovel
Luke: i’d love to get your help with my photography too
HollyRandall: ?
HollyRandall: when is the light coming through your window the strongest?
Luke: if you could look at some of my pics and tell me what I’m doing wrong and how better to crop.edit them
HollyRandall: why would i do that?
HollyRandall: i thought your identity lies with the COD
HollyRandall: and i’m also embarking on a new project where i have to write more
HollyRandall: would you allow me to attend shul with you and write about it?
HollyRandall: i won’t tell anyone at shul what i do
Luke: sure, a shul, not my shul.
HollyRandall: hmm
HollyRandall: well let’s talk about that later
Luke: ok
HollyRandall: that project isn’t coming up especially soon
Luke: this will be fun
Luke: you know i’ll love it
HollyRandall: the photo?
HollyRandall: hehe
HollyRandall: lol i hope so
Luke: squiring you around jewish life
HollyRandall: i suddenly want to shoot some independent photo projects
Luke: maybe we’ll go to a gay shul?
HollyRandall: really?
HollyRandall: they have those?
Luke: yes
HollyRandall: that would be awesome
HollyRandall: what about a cross dressing shul?
Luke: ok
HollyRandall: and you can wear a dress
HollyRandall: that would be awesome
HollyRandall: story of the century
Luke: hmm, I wont do that, there aren’t cross-dressing shuls as far as I know, but there are surely cross-dressing events thrown by liberal jews
Luke: but I wont cross-dress
Luke: read that
HollyRandall: aww c’mon
HollyRandall: where’s the fun cross-dressing Luke i used to know?
Luke: lol
Luke: to think all the time i was with you, i was trying to get you to shul… now my dreams have come true!
Luke: this is better than a blowjob
Luke: i’m going to a weekend of non-stop jewish classes at costa mesa hilton
Luke: it’s like the AEE but jewish, will pack my levitra
HollyRandall: ahahah
HollyRandall: i’m reading that article you read me
HollyRandall: wow, is the jewish community the last place where "racism" is allowed?
Luke: do you understand it is a clash of tradition and other values? it’s beautiful.
HollyRandall: but you’re not a "real Jew" according to this guy
Luke: yes, in traditional judaism, because other values are more important…though a black or yellow jew is as much a member of the tribe as a white one
Luke: yes I am if I am Orthodox
Luke: it means you can’t do a cheapie conversion and immediately expect all the benefits of being a member
HollyRandall: how did she do a "cheapie" conversion?
HollyRandall: she was raised jewish
Luke: we should have a nice kosher dinner or lunch and talk about all this
HollyRandall: right
Luke: her mom did
Luke: Orthodox conversion — difficult. Other types of Jewish conversions = easy.
HollyRandall: but her mom converted
Luke: but not orthodox, she did a cheapie
HollyRandall: christ
Luke: you can’t take the easy way out and expect respect and no consequences
HollyRandall: so in order for someone to convert to judaism and be accepted, they would HAVE to convert to orthodox judaism?
Luke: yes, if they want respect and acceptance from the Orthodox. If you want to join a group…
HollyRandall: and don’t you struggle with being accepted as a jew, even though you converted to orthodox?
Luke: yes, but my struggles are almost entirely because I have chosen to publicly and flagrantly violate the norms of Orthodoxy.
Luke: no group will accept that
Luke: I did the same thing in porn.
HollyRandall: but Schwartzie’s center advocates: "All our activities are for Conservative, Reform, nonaffiliates, & any Jew that moves! They require no prior background for your total enjoyment," the center’s tagline reads.
HollyRandall: it seems that he contradicts that
Luke: yes, but that is for Jews. If you did not convert Orthodox, you are not a Jew in Orthodox eyes.
Luke: it’s complex.
Luke: you can’t intuit judaism.
Luke: it’s the opposite of modernity in many ways.
Luke: that’s what makes it fascinating.
Luke: it’s not cuddly and easy to like
