Neil Strauss writes on MySpace:
Asking for a phone number can be one of the most difficult parts of an interaction with a woman you’ve just met. If she declines to give you her number, or instead asks for yours because she claims she doesn’t give her phone number to guys, then all your previous efforts to build a connection with her have been in vain.
Even if she likes you, she may still refuse to give you her phone number the first time you ask. This is what’s called an automatic or autopilot response: After experiencing repeated clumsy pickup attempts, many women have lines they use, almost by instinct, to politely decline requests for their phone number.
So what’s the solution?
Don’t ask for the phone number at all.
The first key to this is seeding, a technique in which you mention a tempting event but do not immediately invite the woman to attend. This is where your Stylelife Calendar you filled out is going to come in handy. Now that you have a list of interesting events, choose one to mention that will interest her. For example, casually mention a new lounge or restaurant or party you’re going to, talk about how cool it’s going to be, and then move on to other topics. Then, later in the interaction, before you’re about to leave, decide to invite her to come along.
Seeding helps to increase the odds of her saying yes, by avoiding the kind of pressure she might feel when confronted with a sudden invitation—pressure that often triggers a negative autopilot response. Mentioning the Calendar event, and then giving her time to think about whether she wants to go before you get around to inviting her, gives her a chance to come to an affirmative decision on her own. Especially if you’ve continued to display more great personality, value, and non-neediness along the way. In addition, not inviting her when you first mention the event will only increase her desire to go.
Having a pretext for getting together again, and a plan set in stone, also drastically reduces the chances that she’ll flake out. Even if she’s not sure about you yet, she’s more likely to come along anyway, just for the experience. Tagging along with a small group of interesting people to experience the best sushi in the world, or check out the funniest comedian who ever lived, or go to the coolest dive bar in town, is a lot more tempting than just "going for coffee" or "getting together to talk sometime," which is how many guys ask women out. And compared to an actual date, in which she’s trapped all night with a stranger with high expectations, your low-pressure event is a much more appealing option.
