Judging women based on how they cover their hair

From FrumSatire:

Women in the frum community are judged by many things, how well they can make a kugel, how many children they can have while they are still teenagers, how fast they can roll one of those huge strollers, to shull on shabbos morning or to the last industrial sized can of chrayonaise at the kollel store or even how rude they can be while triple parking on Coney Island Avenue, but there is no way better to judge frum women then by her hair covering or lack of it- in which case she may be considered a member of the tribe in some communities and a heretic in others. The frummer the women is the less hair shows, in the frummest circles they decided to get rid of this problem by shaving their heads and giving them the Pakistani cab driver look with the use of turbans. These ultra frummies have eradicated hair from their heads, synthetic hair and real hair is gone, I have no idea if they shave their other hair- but I wont go there, judging from the way they smell when you get within 10 feet of them- I am confident that no one reading this blog will ever venture down below in the underground world of Hasidic pubic hair customs.

 

I have wondered a lot about the whole turban concept, especially how they stay upright in the rain. Do they make them with Teflon coating so that they are water resistant, or do they have windproof fleece liners to keep the cold out- since hair usually acts as a natural cold weather protector. Do the settlers in Israel have bullet proof turbans made out of Kevlar? Why don’t I ever see the shaved head ladies wearing shower caps in the rain, they are way more comfy and they are very good when running and we know how much frummies love to run everywhere.