For the first time in six years, I’m not in Las Vegas this weekend covering the Adult Entertainment Expo.
I remember dating a beautiful young woman in early 2003. I told her I was a freelance journalist. Her dad was a big shot in consumer electronics. I told her that I was just in Vegas for the CES.
While we were lying in bed one Sunday night (Sunday nights were almost always our night, our night for dinner and a movie and then some boom-boom), she asked me what were my favorite exhibits.
I stumbled.
"What do you really do for a living?" she pressed.
I told her.
Fast forward four years. I go to a party. The host wants to set me up with a Jewish girl. I talk to the girl. She realizes that she used to work with my ex-girlfriend.
"I heard some really tawdry things about you," she said.
Pastor Craig Gross and the XXXChurch have arrived in Vegas.
The team has arrived. Here is the run down this year. So, when you watch any recap videos you will understand what is happening.
1. THE HOUSE. We are all staying at “The Vegas Party House” I wanted the team to be together instead of all these separate hotel rooms which are normally not nice at the places I seem to book. So, solution rent a house. The house we found is called The Vegas Party House. We have six kids under four rocking the Party House, three married couples, and a few singles including Brandon…yes he is still single ladies. Each room comes with Leopard print robes, just see the flickr feed for a great shot of board member Bryan sporting the robe.
2. THE MISSION. Thousands of Jesus Loves Porn Stars Bibles to be given away at the AVN Adult Expo. The largest porn show if its kinds. It is good to be back in Vegas and hear comments like…”My Bible is on the table that I got last year or I read it every night. We have a team of ladies that are talking to the various people in the industry and handing out free shirts. Rachel who went to London with us is back heading up that side of the outreach. Heather and Annie from Las Vegas are working the show floor is well starting Thursday. We have a team of us at the booth talking with people and handing out the Bibles.
3. AWARDS. Saturday night my wife and I are actually going to be going to the award show and are able to spend some time with some great people that we have met from this industry.
4. CES. The Consumer Electronic Show is in town. So, Vegas is a mix of porn and electronics this week. Our buddies from Safe Eyes are in town for that and we look forward to catching up with them tonight at some point.
5. THANKFUL. I am so very thankful for this chance that we have to shine some light in a dark room this week.
My friend Donny Pauling is a preacher’s kid. He was a pornographer in Chico, CA. I always liked him because he could spell and punctuate correctly and write clearly. He was into the Kabbalah Centre. About nine months ago, Donny gave his life to Christ about nine months ago and now he’s in seminary to become a pastor. Here’s an excerpt from his blog:
From the boyfriend of a former model. He became her boyfriend after she had worked for me. This model keeps in touch with me from time to time.
My name is (Name removed) you don’t know me but my wonderful girlfriend had worked for you. Her name is (Name removed). When i heard she did a couple photoshoots with you it was probably the one thing that made me wonder if I could truly love her. I blamed you. I have since realized that I love that amazing girl no matter what. We have been together for a year. We have our own place together and couldn’t be happier. I had asked her why she still talked to you and what she said made a lot of sense.
“I have to learn to forgive myself and I want Donny to know I don’t blame him, he is probably doing enough of that on his own.”
I know a little about you from what she has told me and from the porn sunday blog you posted and I just wanted to let you know I think you’re doing good . I know it probably dosent mean much coming from someone you have never met but it makes me feel better to let you know. (Name removed) is loved with all my heart and is doing well. I hope life is good and that you are doing well also.
Wishing you the best of luck.
–(Name removed)This email… I don’t really know what I think about it. I can put myself in the place of this man and empathize with how he feels. This is the first email I’ve received from the boyfriend of a former model. I really am glad he contacted me.
Just a month or so ago I had another model that told me it’s hard for her to find a boyfriend. She’s an amazingly beautiful girl, but once a new love interest hears about the work she did for me he usually leaves. For a specific instance, she shared a story about a guy she’d been very interested in for quite some time. Things were progressing well for her until he learned about the modeling she’d done for me. As soon as he found out about it, he no longer wanted to date her. When she talked with her mother about it her mom said she could totally understand how the guy felt and didn’t blame him at all.
Both of these situations are examples of how porn affects the lives of those involved long after their “career” is over.
Here’s my response to the email above:
(Name removed),
I am glad you contacted me. I really don’t know what to say. I was a very selfish person, making money at the expense of other people for so long. I never took the time to consider how it would affect the models for the rest of their lives. I always justified my actions by saying “I warned them and they signed a release.” The truth is that I knew better. I had a bigger perspective. I chose myself over each and every model who worked for me.
I’m so glad you looked beyond the work (Name removed) did for me. She’s a really great girl who needs a good man in her life. She was young and naive, and I’m glad you don’t hold that against her.
I have no excuse, but thank God things have changed. As you know, I no longer produce porn. I now travel the country in an attempt to educate people about the realities of that industry. I don’t want to take away anyone’s rights to work in the business, consume porn, or produce it. But I do want people to realize there are real life consequences.
For what it’s worth: to you, as well as to her, I apologize. I wish the two of you nothing but the best. They say “what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger”. I don’t think that’s just a cliché. For (Name removed), and for me, I think it’s very true.
I was asked for my advice for Christians reaching out to porn stars. I said: Don’t let yourself go on automatic when you talk to people. Make sure you hear and feel what the person is communicating and you are responding to it as precisely as possible rather than just pouring your wisdom down their throat.
On this Wednesday last year, Brent Hopkins and I drove his Civic (not my Civic) out I-15 to Las Vegas for the annual AVN Adult Entertainment Expo. I am fairly certain that will be the only time I spend 20 hours over two days at a porn convention. My excuse was that I was writing a big story about adult-industry Christian ministries for the LA Daily News‘ then-upcoming porn series.
I focused on the guys and gals of XXXChurch.com, "the #1 Christian porn site," who are the most prominent of the anti-adult-industry ministries. Another character in this milieu is a former stripper named Heather Veitch, (pictured on left) who runs JC’s Girls. I spoke with her last year at her booth, a black backdrop with furry pink accents, that was for some reason located in the gay porn section. She’s back in Vegas this week with Hooker for Jesus Annie Lobert, and an LA Times blog gives them some play.
One Vegas topless bar allows Veitch to come at night to buy lap dances and use the time to talk to the dancers about Jesus. I have been invited along for a future trip and am very curious to see how that works out. Veitch says she has received almost no hostility from the people she is trying to reach in Vegas, even those not at all interested in her message.
On the other hand, selling her fellow Christians on her project has been difficult. Veitch has found that some churches are not interested in populating congregations with strippers she has invited to services. And then it always comes back to her look. Veitch says, "The Christian community can be very judgmental. But we think our look lets girls in the industry identify with us."
For the upcoming 40,000-strong Adult Entertainment Expo, Veitch and Lobert will be working the convention floor, handing out cards and delivering their message to whoever will listen.
There is no question that patrons and performers at the porn convention are open to Veitch and XXXChurch and the handful of other ministries. But after watching these interactions, I wasn’t sure how effective they were. A lot of people listened, few people turned down the "Jesus Loves Porn Stars" Bibles handed out by XXXChurch, but they seemed to think it was more kitsch 
than Gospel.
Craig Gross, who runs XXXChurch, told me that people ask him all the time whether he feels like he is making a difference. And at one point he wasn’t so sure. In his book "The Dirty Little Secret," he writes about a guy who he thought he had helped free from the bondage of porn — only to find the guy later fly off the deep end.
Some Christians are cynical of Gross and his colleagues, claiming they’re a bunch of perverts who want an excuse to cavort with unnaturally endowed women. In a documentary, "Missionary Positions," one of the guys from XXXChurch (I can’t remember who) gets smacked by a more fire-and-brimstone preacher who thinks Gross is doing the work of the devil.
I don’t buy this. Certainly there are people who want out of the adult business. People like Keri Humble. And knowing that, these ministries just want to be there. Even if there is there.
