The Final Scene Of ‘The Apprentice’ Translated Into Australian Slang

Grok: I got three rules, mate. Right? They’re me three rules for crackin’ a win. Rule one: the world’s a bloody shambles, yeah? The world’s a shambles, Tony. Ya gotta fight back, fair crack of the whip. Ya gotta have a thick skin, mate. Attack, attack, attack. If some drongo comes at ya with a shiv, ya belt ’em back with a bloody big bazooka, yeah? Rule two: what’s the truth, Tony? What’s the truth? Ya know what’s the truth? What ya reckon is the truth, what I reckon is the truth, what he reckons is the truth. What’s the truth in life, ay? Deny the lot, admit bugger all. Ya know what’s dinky-di? What I say’s dinky-di. And third of all, most important, no matter how stuffed ya are, ya never, ever, ever chuck in the towel. Ya always claim ya won. Always, mate.

About Luke Ford

I teach Alexander Technique in Beverly Hills (Alexander90210.com).
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