The Final Scene Of ‘The Apprentice’ Translated Into Australian Slang

Grok: I got three rules, mate. Right? They’re me three rules for crackin’ a win. Rule one: the world’s a bloody shambles, yeah? The world’s a shambles, Tony. Ya gotta fight back, fair crack of the whip. Ya gotta have a thick skin, mate. Attack, attack, attack. If some drongo comes at ya with a shiv, ya belt ’em back with a bloody big bazooka, yeah? Rule two: what’s the truth, Tony? What’s the truth? Ya know what’s the truth? What ya reckon is the truth, what I reckon is the truth, what he reckons is the truth. What’s the truth in life, ay? Deny the lot, admit bugger all. Ya know what’s dinky-di? What I say’s dinky-di. And third of all, most important, no matter how stuffed ya are, ya never, ever, ever chuck in the towel. Ya always claim ya won. Always, mate.

About Luke Ford

I've written five books (see Amazon.com). My work has been covered in the New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, and on 60 Minutes. I teach Alexander Technique in Beverly Hills (Alexander90210.com).
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