His L.A. Thank-You List

John Dickson writes:

* I am thankful to live in a place where our City Council doesn’t squander time on local minutia and instead debates the seminal issues: Iraq, Darfur, global warming and, probably soon, the endangerment of the humphead parrotfish.

* I am thankful this city is so responsive to the plight of the mentally ill that police habitually give them free rides to skid row.

* I am thankful Hal Fishman didn’t live to see a local newscast last week in which the lead story was about "Dancing With the Stars."

* I am thankful I finally found a house I could afford in Los Angeles even if it was parked on the Hollywood Freeway.

* I am thankful we have enough homes for sale in Los Angeles County to last us until about the time we’re ready to colonize Mars.

* I am thankful nearly every newspaper and magazine in Los Angeles covers the downtown residential scene so thoroughly, as I am learning so much about the 11 people who dwell there.

* I am thankful not to be the prostitute toiling for madam Jody "Babydol" Gibson who allegedly serviced Tommy Lasorda, when her co-worker purportedly drew Bruce Willis.

* And this year, as every year, I am most thankful for my health, because after paying the proposed DWP rate hikes, phone tax and the raises for the City Council, I will be unable to afford medical insurance.