Bob emails: Remember the Jesus tortilla from the 80’s? Like an edible Shroud of Turin.
Khunrum emails: “This reminds me of a true Tejas story from when I was a young immigrant to the state. Someone discovered what they perceived to be the likeness of Jesus on the side of a barn. Thousands came from all over. People were in tears. They prayed…they wept…it was a miracle. Upon closer inspection Jesus was found to be an old weathered poster of Willie Nelson.”
Fred emails: I now understand better the wave of phony holy relics that were used to fill church coffers during the dark ages (and continues to do so today).
But we have advanced. 1,000 years ago, hucksters were touting the shroud of Turin as a miracle. Modern 20th century man had advanced to produce the banana of Turin. Frankly, I think it’s an improvement. At least after you’re done gazing at the miracle of the banana of Turin, you can eat it.
Of course, nobody knows what Jesus looked like (or even whether he existed). Gentlemen, I’m here to tell you that’s not the image of Jesus, but rather, the image of my neighbor Bob. Perhaps my neighbor Bob is really the messiah. I’m going next door to ask him. I’ll let you know what I find out.
Luke Ford’s Divine Authority Confirmed by Tortilla