As I develop a list of my best blog posts and best videos, I notice that it is only after February 2, 2020 that I consistently like my online production (I like most of my life choices after the summer of 2015, a turning point in my real life that only effectively translated into my online work in 2020).
Cohosting a daily Youtube show with the brilliant Kevin Michael Grace (he has at least a standard deviation of IQ on me) for nearly two years (ending January 31, 2020) created more compelling shows than anything I could make on my own, but I found I liked myself more when I moved on from that partnership (even as my viewership dropped to about a quarter of what it was with Kevin).
Younger me was more energetic and risk-taking than post-2020 me. I don’t like myself as an activist. I’m unfair to people, I’m nasty, I’m repetitive, I’m shallow. I prefer myself in analyst mode. I like myself more when I focus on understanding what the world, not changing it.
I had a girlfriend at UCLA at age 22 who told me, “You are so adorable when you try to change the world.”
Not to me I’m not.
Here are the key points in my ideological development:
* I stopped blogging on the porn industry in October of 2007.
* Alexander Technique calmed me down beginning with my first lessons in 2008.
* I stopped playing around with women in 2010.
* I started my first 12-step program in 2011 and developed some emotional sobriety.
* Going on modafinil in 2013 gave me more mental energy.
* I began effectively managing my life in the summer of 2015 due to the addition of various 12-step programs devoted to managing your time and money.
* I read Fred Luskin’s Forgive for Good book in 2017.
* I discovered Nathan Cofnas in March of 2018.
* Reading Virtually You: The Dangerous Powers of the E-Personality in April of 2018.
* This disastrous show: The Art of Debate w Jim Goad, Nick Fuentes, Baked Alaska, Irony Bros (12-22-18)
* I began listening to Decoding the Gurus in the middle of 2020.
* Reading philosopher Rony Guldmann in 2022.
