Joss Whedon’s ex-wife Kai Cole accuses ‘feminist’ Buffy writer of ‘multiple affairs’

Harry Baldwin posts:

Hilarious story on Drudge today: Joss Whedon’s fan site closes down after Kai Cole, his angry ex-wife, exposes him as a fake feminist, a “hypocrite preaching feminist ideals.”

Isn’t every male feminist fake? I assume they’re all just pretending.


Director and screenwriter Joss Whedon has been accused by his ex-wife, Kai Cole, of being unfaithful throughout their marriage, hiding “multiple affairs and a number of inappropriate emotional ones that he had with his actresses, co-workers, fans and friends”.

Whedon, the co-director of DC Comics’ forthcoming Justice League and Batgirl films, and creator of hit TV show Buffy the Vampire Slayer, has been praised for writing strong, independent female characters.

But according to Cole, “He used his relationship with me as a shield, both during and after our marriage, so no one would question his relationships with other women or scrutinize his writing as anything other than feminist.” She claims Whedon told her, “As a guilty man I knew the only way to hide was to act as though I were righteous.”

Cole married Whedon in 1995. They separated in 2012, and finally divorced in 2015. In a blog post for entertainment news site The Wrap, Cole wrote:

On the set of Buffy, Joss decided to have his first secret affair. Fifteen years later, when he was done with our marriage and finally ready to tell the truth, he wrote me, “When I was running Buffy, I was surrounded by beautiful, needy, aggressive young women. It felt like I had a disease, like something from a Greek myth. Suddenly I am a powerful producer and the world is laid out at my feet and I can’t touch it.” But he did touch it.

[…] He never conceded the hypocrisy of being out in the world preaching feminist ideals, while at the same time, taking away my right to make choices for my life and my body based on the truth. He deceived me for 15 years, so he could have everything he wanted.

[…] Until recently, Joss was still letting the illusion of our marriage stay intact. Now that it is finally public, I want to let women know that he is not who he pretends to be. I want the people who worship him to know he is human, and the organizations giving him awards for his feminist work, to think twice in the future about honoring a man who does not practice what he preaches. But no matter what happens, or how people interpret this statement, I no longer have to carry the burden of Joss’ long-term deceit and confessions. I am free.

About Luke Ford

I've written five books (see My work has been noted in the New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, and 60 Minutes. I teach Alexander Technique in Beverly Hills (
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