‘Why I’ve Decided To Take A Gap Year Before Joining ISIS’

Tristan Beverly writes: In the face of unprecedented pressure to succeed, today’s young adults have less time than ever to form their identities and discover who they want to be. The narrow, sheltered world of childhood can only prepare you for so much and offers little chance for kids to expand their perspectives and nourish their souls. All of this is why I’ve decided to take a gap year before I join ISIS.

As I see it, I’ll have the rest of my life to concentrate on violently establishing a universal caliphate. Why not have a little fun first?

People might look at my desire to take a gap year as a sign I’m not fully dedicated to jihad. But it’s quite the contrary. I just want to be prepared to take on all of the things I’ll be learning. When I sit down to learn to field-strip my AK-47, I don’t want to be daydreaming of what it’d be like to walk along the White Cliffs of Dover. I want to know what it’s like firsthand.

Do I want to establish Allah’s kingdom on Earth? Of course I do. But I can’t think of a better way to prepare to destroy every country in the European Union than to travel through them with nothing but a change of clothes and a few Kerouac novels in my backpack.

About Luke Ford

I've written five books (see Amazon.com). My work has been noted in the New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, and 60 Minutes. I teach Alexander Technique in Beverly Hills (Alexander90210.com).
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