8 Things You’ll Need To Know If You’re a Jew Living in Exile

The first thing you need to know, according to the author Sophia Marie Unterman, is how easy it is to cheat the goyim. Inspiring! Tikkun olam!

1. Capitalize on the convenient lack of knowledge about Jewish holidays.
When I was in eighth grade and unprepared for an upcoming French test, I told my teacher that I was very sorry but I couldn’t take an exam that day, as it was Yom Shalom. I was being strategic, of course; it was October, and thus in the vague timeframe of the High Holidays, and I was in Prairie Village, Kansas, where most folks were hazy on the details of Judaism in general. My teacher apologized profusely and said she would bump the test to the following Monday.
I pulled a similar stunt when working as a file clerk in Louisiana, when I took off some extra time around Yom Kippur, as my boss didn’t know how many days it lasted. This tactic of bending the length of or making up brand-new holidays works well for both children and adults, although the creativity and liberty you are able to take depends on your exact location…

Historically, many Jews have chosen to assimilate, to blend into American non-Jewish spaces. This tactic was oftentimes necessary for acceptance, and even for survival. I was lucky to be able to take the opposite route — to express my Jewishness to its full extent (to a rather obnoxious degree at times, I must admit).

I wonder if there could be any downside to goyim learning that Jews will cheat them if they think they can get away with it? Might there be a backlash?

Now it is entirely possible that the author is making it up that she routinely lied to the goyim about Jewish holidays to take advantage of their naivete. She may have just been taking literary license.

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Inspired by Elie Wiesel, I too want to make a living from the Holocaust

I’m working on my Treblinka memoir. Yeah, I made it up, but I have lots of company with fake Holocaust memoirs.

Charles Nunno: “Performance art. Carry around your own gas chamber and take public showers with pornstars to raise money for endangered lions in Africa.”

Robert Stark: “Luke Ford should write a fictional novel that explores all his themes, from the Porn Industry, Eroticized Rage, the Alexander Technique, Judaism, and White Nationalism. Luke Ford needs to reclaim his legacy! Fiction is a more effective way for getting your ideas out there than stuffy political science books.”

Miriam: “I thought your shtick is to mourn the war on the white man through your fb posts. It’s worked so far.”

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Sex Before Marriage In Orthodox Judaism

Marc B. Shapiro writes: Because the masses had no interest in what the rabbis had to say about this matter, R. Landsofer concludes that one need not even rebuke them, as they won’t listen anyway. Not long ago I heard a rabbi going on about the holy communities of Europe of a few hundred years ago, about their support of Torah, the respect they gave to the rabbis, and their commitment to halakhah. All of this is true, but if you look a little closer you find that these communities were actually very much like contemporary Modern Orthodox communities, in that together with a commitment to halakhah, many people also felt that they could determine which halakhot could be ignored. Or perhaps they didn’t even think they were violating halakhah. Maybe they assumed that the rabbis were making their lives difficult with extreme humrot. Either way you look at it, it is very obvious that there were many in traditional Jewish societies who created their own standards of practice which did not always correspond to what the rabbis insisted on, and they had no interest in changing their ways because of what the rabbis were saying…

R. Israel David Margulies (19th century) cites this text from Sefer Maharil and correctly notes that in medieval times the brides were much younger than in his day. He assumes that the typical bride was under 12 and a half years old, and therefore there was no problem of impure thoughts with such brides…

Regarding the age of Jewish brides in medieval times, See Avraham Grossman, Hasidot u-Mordot (Jerusalem, 2001), ch. 2. He makes the following interesting point (Pious and Rebellious, trans. Jonathan Chipman [Waltham, 2004], pp. 47-48):

“The phenomenon of beating wives may also have been exacerbated by marriage of girls at an early age. The fact that at times the wife was extremely young led the husband to relate to her as he would to his own daughter. This was particularly true in those places where young girls were married to husbands significantly older than themselves, which was, as we have seen, a common phenomenon in Jewish society, and particularly in Muslim countries. Moreover, it may well be that the beating of the wife, which was a part of the life of the young couple, also continued thereafter.”

…In a comment to my last post, Maimon wrote: “On the subject of R. Bachrach’s responsum – it bears noting that the pre-reform homogeneous [should be: heterogeneous] Jewish society (especially in Germany) contained people of varying levels of observance from across the spectrum and as such many behavioral patterns that would be unthinkable in contemporary Orthodox society are detailed in the Halakhic writings from that era.” Maimon is correct, and it is not only in recent centuries or in Germany that one finds communities with people of different levels of religious observance. This is how Jewish societies have always been, in every era and place, at least until the second half of the twentieth century and the creation of haredi societies. I have already cited numerous examples that justify this statement, but let offer one more that shows how even in medieval times young men and women would socialize in a way that Maimon might say “would be unthinkable in contemporary Orthodox society.” I would only add that instead of “contemporary Orthodox society,” I prefer to say “contemporary haredi society,” since as mentioned already, Modern Orthodox society still has significant variations in level of observance. (When I speak of variations in level of observance, I have in mind bein adam la-Makom halakhot. I am not referring to halakhot having to do with monetary issues and dina de-malchuta dina, regarding which I believe the Modern Orthodox community is superior to what we find in the haredi world.)

R. Meir of Rothenburg was asked about young Jewish men and women who were drinking together. As a joke, one of the young women asked one of the men if he would betroth her. He took a ring and threw it to her, and recited the text of kiddushin. (At a future time I can discuss the halakhic arguments that R. Meir used to free the woman from having to receive a get.) One cannot overlook the fact that the way the young men and women were socializing together, much like you would find among kids at Modern Orthodox high schools, shows that there was no strict separation between the sexes…

7. Two people have asked me to comment on Rabbis Yitzchok Adlerstein’s and Michael Broyde’s article here arguing that hasidic schools shouldn’t be forced to offer secular education. While the Seforim Blog is not the place for commenting on these sorts of matters, after reading the article I felt I had to make one point. Adlerstein and Broyde cite the famous Supreme Court case which allowed the Amish to opt out of secular education and they apply this logic to the hasidic communities. While it is true that if it went to court the hasidic communities would probably prevail, there is a big difference between the Amish and the hasidic communities. The Amish do not take welfare, food stamps, and other forms of government assistance. Thus, they make choices and live with the consequences. However, the hasidic communities refuse to provide their children with the basic skills needed to function in the modern economy, and as a result rely heavily on the welfare state. No one who believes in limited government and is opposed to the welfare state can support a situation where kids are allowed to grow up almost guaranteed to be in need of public assistance.

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Man who claimed to have escaped Auschwitz admits he lied for years

Why do so many people lie about their suffering in the Holocaust? Because there’s money and prestige to be gained from claiming victim status. These liars aren’t the only sick ones here. We’re sick for giving people the incentive to make up stories about their suffering.

Chaim Amalek This is a variant of “Stolen Valor”, whereby people falsely claim to have done something brave or to have been victimized in some infamous way. Which the perp chooses – to have been a war hero, or a victim – I suppose reflects both the culture and their personal pathology. I had to deal with quite a bit of this in my own life when I got back from ‘Nam.

Susan Williams Really you were in Nam..
Give me dates, experiences names…

Chaim Amalek I don’t like talking about it, but yeah. Gulf of Tonkin, Battle for Hill 9021, Tet offensive, Arclight, Escape from Hanoi Hilton, made it back to Saigon in time for its fall in ’75. Mayaquez Incident. I was deep in the shit.

Susan Williams I hope you didn’t leave any half caste behind

Chaim Amalek As I said, I hate to talk about it. I maintained the purity of my instrument just so I would not leave behind any mischelungen. And after the war, I was so messed up, I served in the Carter Administration as head of counterterrorespionage directorate for extra-terrestrial matters. It was a wild time.

The Guardian: Joseph Hirt said he fabricated story of being sent to camp and meeting Nazi doctor Josef Mengele to ‘keep memories alive’ about history of the Holocaust.

A Pennsylvania man who claimed for years to have escaped from Auschwitz, met track and field star Jesse Owens and Nazi doctor Josef Mengele, confessed on Friday that he had fabricated the entire story.

“I am writing today to apologize publicly for harm caused to anyone because of my inserting myself into the descriptions of life in Auschwitz,” Joseph Hirt, 86, wrote in a letter sent to his local paper, LNP, this week. “I was not a prisoner there. I did not intend to lessen or overshadow the events which truly happened there by falsely claiming to have been personally involved.”

“I was wrong. I ask forgiveness,” he added. “I determined at that moment to do everything in my power to prevent the loss of the truth about wartime life (and death) at Auschwitz.”

For years, Hirt gave public speeches about his experiences in the second world war, including his Jewish family’s flight from Poland to Belgrade. But he also told people that he was arrested by the Nazis, sent to the concentration camp at Auschwitz, and met Mengele, the SS physician who tortured prisoners of the concentration camp. Hirt claimed to have escaped under an electric fence at the camp.

He added an extraordinary prologue and epilogue to the story, saying that he saw Adolf Hitler turn his back on Jesse Owens at the 1936 Olympics in Berlin, and that he met Eleanor Roosevelt and Owens after his arrival in the United States.

In his letter, Hirt said that he realized “it wasn’t about me”, and that he was motivated to lie by his fears that the history and horror of the camps would be forgotten. He said that he was shocked to find that Auschwitz, now a museum and memorial, had become a “clean and polished tourist destination” where visitors laughed and joked about “propaganda”.

“Flagrant denial and ignorance of the truth made me determined to keep the memories alive,” Hirt said. “I used poor judgment and faulty reasoning, risking a sullying of the truth I was trying to share.”

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WHO ARE ALL THESE TRUMP SUPPORTERS?

George Saunders writes in The New Yorker: After the San Jose rally in early June, protesters bullied and spat on straggling Trump supporters. Sucker punchers lurched up, punched hard, darted away, hands raised in victory. A strange little protester, mask around his neck, mumbled, as he scuttled past a female reporter conducting an interview, “Fuck you in the pussy.” Some sick genie, it seemed, had been let out of the bottle. I had to pull an older white woman out of a moblet of slapping young women of color, after she’d been driven down to one knee and had her glasses knocked off. When I told the young African-American woman who’d given the first slap that this was exactly the kind of thing the Trump movement loved to see and would be happy to use, she seemed to suddenly come back to herself and nearly burst into tears. The slapped woman was around sixty, tall, lean, sun-reddened, scrappy, a rancher, maybe, and we stood there a few minutes, recovering ourselves. Seeing something unsteady behind her eyes, I suggested that she be sure to take a few deep breaths before driving home. She said she would, but a few minutes later I saw her again, at the edge of the crowd, watching the protesters in fascination, as if what had just happened to her made it impossible for her to leave.

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