A post on Craigslist:
I’m tired of beating around the bush. I’m a beautiful (spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I’m articulate and classy. I’m not from New York. I’m looking to get married to a guy who makes at least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind that a million a year is middle class in New York City, so I don’t think I’m overreaching at all.
Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives? Could you send me some tips? I dated a business man who makes average around 200 – 250. But that’s where I seem to hit a roadblock. 250,000 won’t get me to central park west. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she’s not as pretty as I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do I get to her level?
Here are my questions specifically:
-Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics- bars, restaurants, gyms.
-What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won’t hurt my feelings.
-Is there an age range I should be targeting (I’m 25)?
-Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the upper east side so plain? I’ve seen really ‘plain jane’ boring types who have nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I’ve seen drop dead gorgeous girls in singles bars in the east village. What’s the story there?
-Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows – lawyer, investment banker, doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do they hang out? Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?
-How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for MARRIAGE ONLY.
Please hold your insults – I’m putting myself out there in an honest way. Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I’m being up front about it. I wouldn’t be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn’t able to match them – in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a nice home and hearth.
A guy responds:
What you suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring my money. Fine, simple. But here’s the rub, your looks will fade and my money will likely continue into perpetuity…in fact, it is very likely that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won’t be getting any more beautiful!
So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation accelerates!
Let me explain, you’re 25 now and will likely stay pretty hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in earnest. By 35 stick a fork in you!
So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy and hold…hence the rub…marriage. It doesn’t make good business sense to "buy you" (which is what you’re asking) so I’d rather lease.
In case you think I’m being cruel, I would say the following: If my money were to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It’s as simple as that.
So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage.
Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So, I wonder why a girl as "articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful" as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to believe that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that the $500K hasn’t found you, if not only for a tryout.
By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then we wouldn’t need to have this difficult conversation.
With all that said, I must say you’re going about it the right way. Classic "pump and dump." I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of lease, let me know.
I tell Robert Light that I don’t see anything wrong with what she wrote. He replies:
What she writes is Exhibit A representative of a lot of women I’ve known.
My two cents: I’ll bet, contrary to the guy responding to her inquiry, that she’s indeed quite beautiful. Moreover, I’ll bet she is, at some level, wrestling with something deeper but unacknowledged: i.e., the fact that most well-to-do hedge fund, investment banker, power-lawyer, rich-dude types are typically NOT endowed with very hip, sexy personalities…these being the real qualities to which, I’ll presume, she’s attracted and which actually "turn her on." (Not to mention the fact that the vast majority of such men are, at best, quite average-looking. But a great* personality typically trumps looks for most women anyway, so this point is a bit moot). What women say they’re attracted to and what they ARE attracted to are often two completely different things. And if they reflect upon this, it causes them a bit of surprise, if no little bit of frustration/unease. Which is to say, this girl’s suffering from massive cognitive dissonance: since it’s actually not the money that causes her to feel deep/physical attraction to certain (but, unfortunately, not-so-rich…and thus soon-to-be-ditched) men, such a cycle goes on and on…as it does for many women, well into their 30s and 40s, leaving them STILL wondering why in the Hell they could still be single. But here’s the real reason why she- at her ripe age of 25- has "astonishingly" not landed the appropriate sugar daddy: if marriage is utterly reduced to the material (i.e., whether we’re speaking of flesh- "looks"- or money) then, obviously, there’s no reason for any rich guy who does happen to be "interesting" (i.e., cool/"fun") and physically attractive to ever settle down with any woman. Why should he? And why the heck should women who essentially treat themselves as prostitutes vis-a-vis rich men be at all surprised when they find that the most desirable men- especially those in whom not only money, but also looks and personality coincide- end up going through women (one after another, after another…), treating them as essentially, well, prostitutes?
I respond: You have a problem with reality. She’s no more a hooker than you are a john for wanting to marry a beautiful woman.
Robert responds: "Point taken. But my point is that so many women make a man’s money to be the one main thing. And by the same logic you provide, I say that men who marry "trophy wives" are just as shallow and morally decrepit as such women.
"Look, as long as women value men based on their bank accounts, society will continue to be more and more fucked up. (Not that I’m attributing all social pathology to this phenomenon, by no means)."
