Alarm bells should go off in your head if the rabbi in charge of your conversion to Orthodox Judaism asks you:
* When do you menstruate (so he can get at you when you won’t contaminate him)
* To meet alone with him behind closed doors
* To pay an extra fee for your conversion (and his voice drops into a whisper as he indicates this will not be a monetary fee)
Your converting rabbi should not be making repeated inappropriate remarks on your appearance. He should not be isolating you from your friends and family. He should not be telling you that the physical things you do together that make you feel dirty are getting you ready for marriage.
Los Angeles has several Orthodox rabbis with a record of doing many of the things above. One is in charge of a conversion program and one no longer is (Abner Weiss).
Rabbis are as likely to be sexual predators as plumbers or bloggers or any other group. They’re more likely to be successful than plumbers when they’re in a powerful position. Having the power to decide whether or not he will convert you to Orthodox Judaism is significant power. All power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely.
I don’t know any attractive convert or would-be convert to Orthodox Judaism who’s not had the hard word placed on them by married Orthodox guys (frequently rabbis). One beautiful convert to Conservative Judaism told me, “Jewish guys don’t know their level.” She was amazed by the shleppers who thought they were in her league. A part of her admired their confidence.
