Comfortably Snuggled In Orthodox Judaism

From my live cam chat:

palestine4ever:  "Engineering sweeping moral change" leaves little time to clean the hovel
palestine4ever:  That is a suspiciously feminine comforter for a bachelor.
palestine4ever:  Unless it’s part of the pick up king tricks.
palestine4ever:  "Come see my flower comforter, babe."
palestine4ever:  I like the new title graphic up front
palestine4ever:  A crucified Luke would be the best though
palestine4ever:  Yay.
palestine4ever:  "This Goy Died for Your Sins. And He’ll Rise and Print a Retraction on the 3rd Day"
palestine4ever:  Luke, are you a fan of b-movies?
YourMoralLeader:  no
palestine4ever:  damn
palestine4ever:  I was hoping to share some of my Italian amphetamine mad max rip-offs to ease your illness.
palestine4ever:  I otherwise have no useful links
palestine4ever:  I did sort of wonder why you weren’t consulted for Wired’s current cover story:
palestine4ever:  http://www.wired.com/culture/lifestyle/magazine/16-08/howto_allison
palestine4ever:  I believe you were a microcelebrity before anyone knew what a microcelebrity was
palestine4ever:  i hope that’s a kosher magazine
palestine4ever:  blessed by the cohenim
palestine4ever:  you should twitter tho
palestine4ever:  you’d probably have a lot of followers
palestine4ever:  tech dorks obsessed with money like to show off their "eccentric friends"
palestine4ever:  I believe you and the Tron Guy from Youtube are the only two reasonably qualified to critique that wired story
palestine4ever:  Anyway, how are the Jews treating you?
palestine4ever:  You weigh weighty moral issues all day.
palestine4ever:  Your brain needs a rest, to renew itself with lighter fare.

Rebbe:  show me your tongue
YourMoralLeader:  you’re right
Rebbe:  if u talk will I hear ou?
guest116:  yeah why not marrrry
Rebbe:  say something
guest116:  you look handsome…somewhat
YourMoralLeader:  thank you
YourMoralLeader:  i need a good loving woman
Rebbe:  I think this is a prerecorded webcam. Say something Luke.
guest116:  you dont have one?
Rebbe:  Great!!
RabbiGadol:  Have you been to the mikvah?
Rebbe:  I am a virgin
Rebbe:  no need for mikva
RabbiGadol:  I would not want to have sex with a needah
RabbiGadol:  Yes there is, if you have been bleeding.
Rebbe:  Ok I have been to mikvah
RabbiGadol:  Of course, you might be a homosexual
RabbiGadol:  Gays need not go to the mikvah
Rebbe:  luke, get rid of this lewd guy
RabbiGadol:  But the torah teaches that your kind must be exterminated if you lie down with a man as with a woman, unless you are a woman
Rebbe:  yeah, thetorah is rubbish
RabbiGadol:  The torah is fine with lesbians
RabbiGadol:  Because after all, it was written by a guy.
Rebbe:  torah is primitive fake
RabbiGadol:  And guys like lesbians.
RabbiGadol:  Luke, that beard is perhaps your greatest achievement in life.
Rebbe:  most of torah is based on superstotion
Rebbe:  luke yo are f**king manic depression
RabbiGadol:  Rebbe, which school of thought are you part of?
Rebbe:  rebbigadol. where are you in the world
RabbiGadol:  Near New Jerusalem
RabbiGadol:  Luke, what on earth are you watching/listening to?
RabbiGadol:  And why?
Rebbe:  I was brought up ultra orthodox. I am married, 3 kids ultra orthodox, but inside I believe nothing. You?
RabbiGadol:  Rebbe, how does your spouse feel about these matters?
Rebbe:  she doesnt know
Rebbe:  what is your school
RabbiGadol:  Tell her, and let the chips fall where they may
Rebbe:  what is you school of thought Rebbi
RabbiGadol:  Sister Theresa too, did not believe, and yet here she is a saint in the eyes of the Church.
RabbiGadol:  Litvish-Reformed
Rebbe:  ultra orthodox?
RabbiGadol:  Criminy, what is this in the background?
YourMoralLeader:  that was cheryl shuman
RabbiGadol:  Me?  No, I’m ultra-modern orthodox
YourMoralLeader:  she’s been in a bad car accident
RabbiGadol:  What happened to her?
YourMoralLeader:  but made a video she emailed me and friends
RabbiGadol:  Why is she sending you videos?
RabbiGadol:  I thought she hated you.
Rebbe:  luke, you have a sad life
YourMoralLeader:  loves me too
YourMoralLeader:  help me rebbe
Rebbe:  do tsuvah. go to uman etc.
RabbiGadol:  Luke, you would make a fine reform Jew.
RabbiGadol:  You could be the most observant reform Jew in all of Christendom.
Rebbe:  luke either orthodox or atheist. Reform is rediculous
RabbiGadol:  Reform is fine for those for whom it is a good fit.
SATAN:  i think he looks like a muslim imman
Rebbe:  If orthodox arent true, then the whole thing is a myth…
RabbiGadol:  Or maybe some of it.
RabbiGadol:  Ask Luke.
RabbiGadol:  He struggles with these problems.
Rebbe:  f**k religion and f**k the god scam
RabbiGadol:  Rebbe, why live a lie?
Rebbe:  luke, is there a god??
RabbiGadol:  Get out of the closet.  Where do you live?
SATAN:  he dont struggle wit food do e
Rebbe:  I am too deep in it. Changing would mess everything up. Its a comfortable lie
RabbiGadol:  where are you?
RabbiGadol:  Many New York haredim find solace in hookers.
Rebbe:  If i come out, i would lose my wife and kids and happy life, so its nbot worth it. I can get porn etc. on the net so there
RabbiGadol:  Where do you live?
Rebbe:  NY
RabbiGadol:  Are you a hassid?
Rebbe:  you?
Rebbe:  yes
RabbiGadol:  Which strain?  Satmar?
Rebbe:  Cant say. Protection
Rebbe:  where do you live
RabbiGadol:  Oh, unless it is some tiny little branch, don’t be so paranoid
RabbiGadol:  NY
RabbiGadol:  You are in Brooklyn?
Rebbe:  if i would come out there would be an earthquake. I am actually in a very high position in my community. Enoiugh said
RabbiGadol:  OK
RabbiGadol:  Get yourself a pelegesh
Rebbe:  Anyone for cybersex?
RabbiGadol:  A Dominican
RabbiGadol:  Dominicans make great pelegesh
Rebbe:  I am not the way I am because of lust. I genuinely think its all crap
RabbiGadol:  Luke, what should Rebbe do?
SATAN:  go muslim
YourMoralLeader:  what he is doing
RabbiGadol:  Luke is much like you in that he really does not believe many core doctrines, but wants to remain part of the community for social reasons.
RabbiGadol:  What do you make of a Jew living in a closet like the Rebbe?
Rebbe:  I am back baybelech
RabbiGadol:  Is the closet any place for a Jewish man?
Rebbe:  luke, would u like me to leave
Rebbe:  look at lukes ampty life
RabbiGadol:  It is not all that empty
Rebbe:  rabbi gadol, would u like to meet?
guest118:  As opposed to everyone here
SATAN:  i think hitler was a very misunderstood man listenin to you w**kers
RabbiGadol:  Rebbe, because of the social implications of two strange men meeting, I, as a matter of public decorem, only meet with women from the internet.  Just so that there are no misunderstandings.
Rebbe:  satan, you need to get a life. Your train of thought hows us that u are unhappy wih your present self. seek help. good luck
guest118:  119 The smartest guest in the room. Image watching an empty cam
Rebbe:  rabbi, i meant meet as in so that you see who i am, not in the sexual way…
SATAN:  yeaaaa
RabbiGadol:  I was kidding. I never meet anyone through the internet.
RabbiGadol:  I know there are support groups for Jews who are closet atheists.
Rebbe:  and even in that context, i was just teasing. If I come out, my life would be over in an important sense
Rebbe:  where are these groups?
Rebbe:   I am happy for someone to prove me wrong, i even yearn for someone to prove me wrong, but all theevidence that I see shows that god is just a myth
SATAN:  ill buy that
RabbiGadol:  I’m sure many practicing Jews agree with much of what you say here
Rebbe:  check out the "greatest jews" in our time, a bunch of self loving pigs. see. satmar bobv, ponevetch etc.
Rebbe:  sata, are you orthodox?
SATAN:  god said when he threw me outa heaven watch that first step its a ba***rd
Rebbe:  ha ha. were you born to an orthodox family?
Rebbe:  going back to ur hitler comment, i would bet that yes
SATAN:  i like religion it causes so many wars