{"id":8874,"date":"2009-05-04T17:41:11","date_gmt":"2009-05-05T01:41:11","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/?p=8874"},"modified":"2009-05-07T13:53:56","modified_gmt":"2009-05-07T21:53:56","slug":"my-interview-with-elizabeth-fournier-author-of-all-men-are-cremated-equal-77-blind-dates","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/?p=8874","title":{"rendered":"My Interview With Elizabeth Fournier &#8211; Author of &#8216;All Men Are Cremated Equal: 77 Blind Dates&#8217;"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.elizabethfournier.com\">Elizabeth&#8217;s book ends on a happy note &#8212; she gets married at age 37<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.elizabethfournier.com\"><img decoding=\"async\" alt=\"\" src=\"http:\/\/lukeford.net\/Images\/photos\/elizabethfournier.jpg\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.elizabethfournier.com\"><img decoding=\"async\" alt=\"\" src=\"http:\/\/lukeford.net\/Images\/photos\/elizabethfournier1.jpg\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>Here&#8217;s the timeline from Elizabeth:<\/p>\n<div>35 &#8211; dumped alcoholic fiance<\/div>\n<div>36 &#8211;&nbsp;started dating new fiance<\/div>\n<div>37 &#8211;&nbsp;engaged<\/div>\n<div>38 &#8211; married<\/div>\n<div>39 &#8211; pregnant<\/div>\n<div>40 &#8211; baby<\/div>\n<p>Luke: &quot;Why do you think you didn&#8217;t marry earlier?&quot;<\/p>\n<p>Elizabeth: &quot;The right guy didn&#8217;t come along. I always had a boyfriend. I had about ten boyfriends for about a year each. I was always the woman who hung in the relationship for as long as possible to make things work until I got dumped and I got my heart broken. I never thought I deserved anything perfect. I thought you could work it out. I&#8217;ve dated all types of individuals. I didn&#8217;t marry because I didn&#8217;t have that feeling that it was the right person. All women I know who have a happy partnership or marriage, they all say the same thing, that person just feels right. It just feels like home. I never had that before.&quot;<\/p>\n<p>&quot;Women are a little bit disposable in this society. My husband is seven-and-a-half years younger. I think he does truly desire and love me but hey, there&#8217;s always the chance that I&#8217;ll be looking really old in ten years and he might be looking pretty youthful. I hope that won&#8217;t be a problem.&quot;<\/p>\n<p>Luke: &quot;I was thinking while I was reading your book that first dates are a horrible way to meet people as opposed to you happen to fall together doing an activity you both love.&quot;<\/p>\n<p>Elizabeth: &quot;Yes. It felt like an interview.&quot;<\/p>\n<p><script src=\"http:\/\/flash.revver.com\/player\/1.0\/player.js?mediaId:1638379;affiliateId:77186;backColor:#000000;frontColor:#ffffff;gradColor:#000000;width:480;height:392;\" type=\"text\/javascript\"><\/script><\/p>\n<p>Luke: &quot;What was the hardest part of writing this book?&quot;<\/p>\n<p>Elizabeth: &quot;Aside from people saying, &#8216;Hmm, I don&#8217;t think that what you wrote will sell&#8230;&#8217; When you sit down to write a book, people aren&#8217;t always naturally encouraging&#8230; Random males&#8230;would say stuff like, &#8216;What are you thinking?&#8217; &#8216;What makes you think you are so special that you&#8217;re not sleeping with the guy on the first date?&#8217; &#8216;What&#8217;s your problem?&#8217; I got that sort of negativism that I was out testing men.<\/p>\n<p>&quot;I realized that my spelling and punctuation isn&#8217;t as good [as she thought]. I went to a school here in Oregon which is considered the Stanford of Oregon (<a href=\"http:\/\/www.linfield.edu\/\">Linfield College<\/a>). I thought that getting a degree from the school meant that I had excellent journalism skills. It was interesting to find out that I don&#8217;t. My writing needs lots of tweaks and lots of help.&quot;<\/p>\n<p>Luke: &quot;I was often struck when I was writing a memoir, and some people came out and said this, what makes you think that you are so interesting, what makes your life so special that it is worth reading about in a book?&quot;<\/p>\n<p>&quot;What percentage of men do you think have considerable hatred of women?&quot;<\/p>\n<p>Elizabeth: &quot;I&#8217;d probably say, oh, not many, but now that I am savvy with the internet and see what is written out there and the blogs that men have, let alone having gone on 77 dates and having some angry daters, I would say that a good 20% who have been hurt or scorned or misunderstood or feel disenfranchised. I&#8217;m curious, from a man&#8217;s point of view, what do you think it is?&quot;<\/p>\n<div><object width=\"512\" height=\"322\"><param name=\"movie\" value=\"http:\/\/d.yimg.com\/static.video.yahoo.com\/yep\/YV_YEP.swf?ver=2.2.40\" \/><param name=\"allowFullScreen\" value=\"true\" \/><param name=\"AllowScriptAccess\" VALUE=\"always\" \/><param name=\"bgcolor\" value=\"#000000\" \/><param name=\"flashVars\" value=\"id=13327820&#038;vid=5009999&#038;lang=en-us&#038;intl=us&#038;thumbUrl=http%3A\/\/l.yimg.com\/a\/p\/i\/bcst\/videosearch\/8736\/85003136.jpeg&#038;embed=1\" \/><embed src=\"http:\/\/d.yimg.com\/static.video.yahoo.com\/yep\/YV_YEP.swf?ver=2.2.40\" type=\"application\/x-shockwave-flash\" width=\"512\" height=\"322\" allowFullScreen=\"true\" AllowScriptAccess=\"always\" bgcolor=\"#000000\" flashVars=\"id=13327820&#038;vid=5009999&#038;lang=en-us&#038;intl=us&#038;thumbUrl=http%3A\/\/l.yimg.com\/a\/p\/i\/bcst\/videosearch\/8736\/85003136.jpeg&#038;embed=1\" ><\/embed><\/object><br \/>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/video.yahoo.com\/watch\/5009999\/13327820\">Luke Ford Interviews With Elizabeth Fournier &#8211; Author of All Men Are Cremated Equal: 77 Blind Dates II<\/a> @ <a href=\"http:\/\/video.yahoo.com\">Yahoo! Video<\/a><\/div>\n<p>Luke: &quot;I would say it is virtually 100%.&quot;<\/p>\n<p>Elizabeth: &quot;Oh gosh, that&#8217;s really disheartening.&quot;<\/p>\n<p>Luke: &quot;I&#8217;m not saying that is the only emotion they have towards women, but I&#8217;d say that virtually every man has substantial fear and hatred of women.&quot;<\/p>\n<p>Elizabeth: &quot;Yeah, that&#8217;s probably pretty accurate. We&#8217;re very screwy characters. Men are very basic. If we only understood how they thought, it would make our lives easier. We complicate them.&quot;<\/p>\n<p><script src=\"http:\/\/flash.revver.com\/player\/1.0\/player.js?mediaId:1638068;affiliateId:77186;backColor:#000000;frontColor:#ffffff;gradColor:#000000;width:480;height:392;\" type=\"text\/javascript\"><\/script><\/p>\n<p>Luke: &quot;Most of the hatred men have for women, from my own perspective, I&#8217;m not immune from fear and loathing of women though I would not regard it as the primary emotion I have towards them, I place the locus at &#8212; we men have to be the pursuer so we&#8217;re constantly getting rejected.&quot;<\/p>\n<p>Elizabeth: &quot;My female friends think that men are such dogs and that men are so unfair to them. I say to my friends, women have spoiled men. Women have spread their legs so easily, they hound men so much, they don&#8217;t allow men to be men and do what they want to do as men, therefore women feel like they are treated poorly&#8230; We have messed up the dating process so much that what we think is normal is not getting anybody to the place they want to be.&quot;<\/p>\n<p>Luke: &quot;Why is it a red flag when a man wants to go dutch on a date?&quot;<\/p>\n<p>Elizabeth: &quot;When a man picks up the phone and asks to take you some place, he should pay. What I have found is that if I have to pay halfway, I will continue to have to pay halfway, and then what happens is that I continue paying all the way. I&#8217;ve had men I&#8217;ve financially taken care of. I don&#8217;t need a guy with a big bankroll to take me out and buy my some steak, but it is nice if the guy does open up the wallet because I haven&#8217;t had that that much. I&#8217;m talking little gestures.&quot;<\/p>\n<p>Luke: &quot;How often have you asked a man out on a first date?&quot;<\/p>\n<p>Elizabeth: &quot;I think in college I did it a little bit. I don&#8217;t really pursue men. I want to know that he really likes me.&quot;<\/p>\n<p>Luke: &quot;I agree with that.&quot;<\/p>\n<p>Elizabeth: &quot;Is that because men are hunters and need to do something?&quot;<\/p>\n<p>Luke: &quot;Yes.&quot;<\/p>\n<p>&quot;You seem very Oregonian to me. How much have you been shaped by the state in which you&#8217;ve spent much of your life?&quot;<\/p>\n<p>Elizabeth laughs. &quot;I am very Oregonian. I have a natural look. I have a peaceful approach. &#8230;In Oregon, people are more into being kind to each other and taking care of the earth and being sustainable.&quot;<\/p>\n<p>Luke: &quot;I&#8217;ve been to Oregon twice. I just loved it. I met a girl in synagogue on the Sabbath and the next day we climbed Mount Hood.&quot;<\/p>\n<p>&quot;How much do you think the niceness of Oregon is overwhelmingly a homogeneous group of people?&quot;<\/p>\n<p>Elizabeth: &quot;Oregon has the highest caucasian population and the highest land mass for that population and no secular-religious situation. Yeah, pretty homogeneous. Is that why we all get along? That&#8217;s interesting. You&#8217;ve really stumped me with that one. That&#8217;s a great question. I would like to think no, just because we&#8217;re all white folks who are pretty middle of the road, that&#8217;s why we see along the same lines. That quite possibly could be it.&quot;<\/p>\n<p>Luke: &quot;You don&#8217;t want to answer that question. It will only get you in trouble.&quot;<\/p>\n<div><object width=\"512\" height=\"322\"><param name=\"movie\" value=\"http:\/\/d.yimg.com\/static.video.yahoo.com\/yep\/YV_YEP.swf?ver=2.2.40\" \/><param name=\"allowFullScreen\" value=\"true\" \/><param name=\"AllowScriptAccess\" VALUE=\"always\" \/><param name=\"bgcolor\" value=\"#000000\" \/><param name=\"flashVars\" value=\"id=13327057&#038;vid=5009641&#038;lang=en-us&#038;intl=us&#038;thumbUrl=http%3A\/\/l.yimg.com\/a\/p\/i\/bcst\/videosearch\/8735\/85000106.jpeg&#038;embed=1\" \/><embed src=\"http:\/\/d.yimg.com\/static.video.yahoo.com\/yep\/YV_YEP.swf?ver=2.2.40\" type=\"application\/x-shockwave-flash\" width=\"512\" height=\"322\" allowFullScreen=\"true\" AllowScriptAccess=\"always\" bgcolor=\"#000000\" flashVars=\"id=13327057&#038;vid=5009641&#038;lang=en-us&#038;intl=us&#038;thumbUrl=http%3A\/\/l.yimg.com\/a\/p\/i\/bcst\/videosearch\/8735\/85000106.jpeg&#038;embed=1\" ><\/embed><\/object><br \/><a href=\"http:\/\/video.yahoo.com\/watch\/5009641\/13327057\">Luke Ford Interviews With Elizabeth Fournier &#8211; Author of All Men Are Cremated Equal: 77 Blind Dates IV<\/a> @ <a href=\"http:\/\/video.yahoo.com\" >Yahoo! Video<\/a><\/div>\n<p>Elizabeth: &quot;Yeah, it&#8217;s a hard one.&quot;<\/p>\n<p>Luke: &quot;It&#8217;s just really nice and clean. There wasn&#8217;t a lot of trash and visible signs of social dysfunction.&quot;<\/p>\n<p>&quot;Have you heard of the book, &#8216;<a href=\"http:\/\/www.amazon.com\/Game-Penetrating-Secret-Society-Artists\/dp\/0060554738\">The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pick-Up Artists&#8217;<\/a>?&quot;<\/p>\n<p>Elizabeth: &quot;Yes. I&#8217;ve seen his website. I think it&#8217;s all true. A lot of it is knowing how someone else thinks and maneuvering and angling.&quot;<\/p>\n<p>Luke: &quot;What do you think of the book &#8216;<a href=\"http:\/\/www.amazon.com\/Rules-TM-Time-Tested-Secrets-Capturing\/dp\/0446518131\/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&amp;s=books&amp;qid=1241563594&amp;sr=1-3\">The Rules<\/a>&#8216;?&quot;<\/p>\n<p>Elizabeth: &quot;I think there&#8217;s a lot to be said for that too. It&#8217;s all about supply and demand. People want what they can&#8217;t have. If you&#8217;re not always easy to reach by phone, if you are not always available to hang out with somebody, you become special.&quot;<\/p>\n<p>Luke: &quot;How has marriage changed you?&quot;<\/p>\n<p>Elizabeth: &quot;It has made me a lot more selfless. You have somebody else to consider.&quot;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Elizabeth&#8217;s book ends on a happy note &#8212; she gets married at age 37. Here&#8217;s the timeline from Elizabeth: 35 &#8211; dumped alcoholic fiance 36 &#8211;&nbsp;started dating new fiance 37 &#8211;&nbsp;engaged 38 &#8211; married 39 &#8211; pregnant 40 &#8211; baby &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/?p=8874\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[17,210],"tags":[17493,17472,17473,17494,17474,5372,722],"class_list":["post-8874","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-author-interviews","category-dating","tag-baby-luke","tag-blind-dates","tag-book-ends","tag-first-dates","tag-fournier","tag-love-quot","tag-quot"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8874","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=8874"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8874\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":8875,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8874\/revisions\/8875"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=8874"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=8874"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=8874"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}