5 p.m. I stuff my lithium-bloated carcass into a tight pair of blue jeans and drape on the nice white dress-shirt I wear to shul.<\/p>\n
I stand in line for about an hour, alternately reading The Nine: Inside the Secret World of the Supreme Court and checking out chicks — a darkie across from me, an older voluptuous brunette just ahead of me…<\/p>\n
I spot Bill Boyarsky and a woman I presume is his wife.<\/p>\n
Finally, I get inside and snag a seat in the center of the fifth row from the back.<\/p>\n
A young woman scoots by and sits beside me to join her friends.<\/p>\n
I never get to see her face but she has a lovely bottom.<\/p>\n
Her scent and girlish laughter is intoxicating. She talks to her friends about her editor and the executive editors. Maybe she’s a writer?<\/p>\n
She texts some guy on her phone.<\/p>\n
Then she reads the novel, "The Jane Austen Book Club."<\/p>\n
We laugh at the same places during the movie<\/a>.<\/p>\n At the end, I can’t stand the sexual tension any longer. I turn to her in the darkness and say, "Is the book set in Sacramento also?"<\/p>\n "Yes," she says.<\/p>\n That’s the extent of our story.<\/p>\n A Zocalo girl announces a forthcoming event featuring Bush’s chief speech writer Michael Gerson who’ll talk about the need for heroic conservatism.<\/p>\n There’s loud hissing in the crowd.<\/p>\n Patt Morrison moderates the discussion between the writer-director Robin Swicord and actors Kathy Baker and Hugh Dancy. I find Patt alternately wise and convoluted, funny and predictable. "How did you like your character?" was one of many trite questions.<\/p>\n Patt: "Jane Austen is the 19th Century Oprah."<\/p>\n Robin: "The conceit of every book club is that the participants are talking about their own lives and just using the books as a pretext."<\/p>\n Hugh: "I went to Oxford for three years. It’s the world’s worst book group."<\/p>\n Robin: "They construct meaning by getting together."<\/p>\n Patt and Robin wax lyrical about our need to set aside time from technology to form community. Well, just join an organized religion, particularly Orthodox Judaism.<\/p>\n Only a few people left after the movie but there’s a steady trickle of people flowing out during the discussion.<\/p>\n Once I give up all hope with the sheila, I leave too, powering down Crescent Heights and remembering the good times of four and a half years ago when I took this same trip prior to my first time with my hot young girlfriend.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" 5 p.m. I stuff my lithium-bloated carcass into a tight pair of blue jeans and drape on the nice white dress-shirt I wear to shul. I stand in line for about an hour, alternately reading The Nine: Inside the Secret … Continue reading