{"id":8284,"date":"2009-02-21T19:47:33","date_gmt":"2009-02-22T03:47:33","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/?p=8284"},"modified":"2009-02-21T19:47:33","modified_gmt":"2009-02-22T03:47:33","slug":"id-date-you-if","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/?p=8284","title":{"rendered":"‘I’d Date You If…’"},"content":{"rendered":"

She came into my chatroom<\/a> this week and said she was a 25 year old Persian Jew living in Brentwood. She said she’d been reading me for a while. She wanted to know why I kept beating up on the very Orthodox rabbis who could make me "one of us."<\/p>\n

"How did you know my weakness for the Persian-Jewess?" I responded.<\/p>\n

"Don’t play games with me," she wrote. "I’d date you if you could find me one Orthodox rabbi who’d speak well of you. Just one."<\/p>\n

"I’ll tell you when I meet you," I said.<\/p>\n

"Don’t think you can bargain with me," she replied. "I’m tired of your b——."<\/p>\n

She then kicked my butt up one end of the chatroom<\/a> and down the other.<\/p>\n

"We have a friend in common," she said, and then named a woman in my community I’ve never spoken to beyond a brief "Gut Shabbos."<\/p>\n

And then this putative friend came into my chatroom<\/a> tonight. Or at least used that name.<\/p>\n

Good thing I live for higher values than girls or I’d be all discombobulated right now.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

She came into my chatroom this week and said she was a 25 year old Persian Jew living in Brentwood. She said she’d been reading me for a while. She wanted to know why I kept beating up on the … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[210,21],"tags":[16352,1055,1949,946,1167],"class_list":["post-8284","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-dating","category-personal","tag-discombobulated","tag-jewess","tag-orthodox-rabbi","tag-orthodox-rabbis","tag-quot-quot"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8284","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=8284"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8284\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":8285,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8284\/revisions\/8285"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=8284"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=8284"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=8284"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}