{"id":7259,"date":"2008-11-10T22:31:56","date_gmt":"2008-11-11T06:31:56","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/?p=7259"},"modified":"2008-11-10T22:31:56","modified_gmt":"2008-11-11T06:31:56","slug":"a-bit-portly","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/?p=7259","title":{"rendered":"A Bit Portly"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>A friend from childhood emails:<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<div><font face=\"Arial\" size=\"2\"><span class=\"215273120-09112008\"> Luke you probably don&#8217;t remember me, but I can still picture you running down  the road exercising in Angwin. You were just a boy maybe around 13 or 14. I  remember you giving me advice once that it&#8217;s good to lock your doors since even  in Angwin there might be a bad apple around somewhere. <br \/>\nIt seems to me that  those Angwin years bring back all kinds of memories. That was a hard time for  many people. I&#8217;m sorry if you were hurt by all the things that occurred around  your family and you- it seems like it would have been hard on you just being a  kid. I was studying theology at PUC at that time, so I can attest those were  difficult and confusing days for a lot of people and for me as well. What helped  me go through them was that I loved the Lord Jesus. More importantly I knew that  he loved me and He was committed to me. Time went on- life went on- and I&#8217;ve  been able to use my gifts for the Lord.<\/span><\/font><\/div>\n<div>&nbsp;<\/div>\n<div><font face=\"Arial\" size=\"2\"><span class=\"215273120-09112008\">Someone once asked  me a long time ago, &quot;have you heard from Dr. Ford lately?&quot;<\/span><\/font><\/div>\n<div><font face=\"Arial\" size=\"2\"><span class=\"215273120-09112008\"><br \/>\nI hadn&#8217;t.  <\/span><\/font><\/div>\n<div><font face=\"Arial\" size=\"2\"><span class=\"215273120-09112008\"><br \/>\nThen they told  me that they had stumbled onto some movie production work that you were doing or  had done and that you had converted to Judaism. Since I come from a Jewish  home&nbsp;I found that interesting.<\/span><\/font><\/div>\n<div>&nbsp;<\/div>\n<div><font face=\"Arial\" size=\"2\"><span class=\"215273120-09112008\">I did go to a  presentation given by your father in <span style=\"border-bottom: 1px dashed rgb(0, 102, 204); cursor: pointer;\" id=\"lw_1226384337_0\" class=\"yshortcuts\">Loma  Linda<\/span> recently.&nbsp;I went on&nbsp;You tube to hear an interview about someone who  was at that forum and that is how I stumbled onto your website.  <\/span><\/font><\/div>\n<div><font face=\"Arial\" size=\"2\"><span class=\"215273120-09112008\"><br \/>\nI don&#8217;t think that I would  have recognized you walking down the street, you have become a bit portly since  your youth. <br \/>\n<\/span><\/font><\/div>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>Jane emails:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p><font face=\"Arial\" size=\"2\"><span style=\"font-size: 10pt; font-family: Arial;\">B&rdquo;H&nbsp;&nbsp; Reb Luke,&nbsp;&nbsp; Having just  stumbled across your many sites while searching the blogosphere for Orthdox  Jew&hellip;..and many hours later&hellip;..I chose to write.&nbsp;&nbsp; (The thought was, &ldquo;I just HAD  to write&rdquo;, but that&rsquo;s not the truth;&nbsp; all we truly have in this world are our  choices.)&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;I don&rsquo;t know where you are currently holding, but I sure hope  you&rsquo;ve still got a shul, a good chevrusa, and some community around yourself.&nbsp; I  want to give you chizuk to do what you know is right and keep dragging your  <span id=\"lw_1225947559_0\" class=\"yshortcuts\">yetzer hara<\/span> to the beis  medrash.&nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp;You are not only a ger, but a baal tshuvah&hellip;again and again and  again.&nbsp; Keep working on it til you get it right!&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; You&rsquo;ve definitely had some  rough breaks (childhood tragedy,multiply&nbsp; disrupted bonding, CFS, etc.), so it  would be a little odd if you WEREN&rsquo;T a bit disturbed; you come by it honestly!  &nbsp;Yes, I think you are probably at least a shadow syndrome of borderline  personality.&nbsp; And that you can become spiritually great anyway. Maybe even  healthy in mind, body&nbsp; and soul.&nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp;And that you could perhaps become a good  married baalabos someday too. &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; <br \/>\n<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\"><font face=\"Arial\" size=\"2\"><span style=\"font-size: 10pt; font-family: Arial;\">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; They say it&rsquo;s good to excel in  the mitzvahs in the areas where you went off the path.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; So I look to you to  become a role model and a light to the world in the areas of tznius and in  rightful speech.&nbsp; Please, do it.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Then where you stand, no tzadik will be able  to stand.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; And maybe it won&rsquo;t earn you a living. And you probably won&rsquo;t get  that delicious attention that I bet you still crave.&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;But your spiritual  reward will be ENDLESS.&nbsp; And I will have such nachas from you.&nbsp; (but that&rsquo;s MY  trip.) And who am I?&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; ONE WHO CAN RELATE TO YOUR STRUGGLE, &nbsp;TOTALLY.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; So,  kol tuv, chazak chazak; hoping to hear good news soon.&nbsp;&nbsp; <br \/>\n<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\"><font face=\"Arial\" size=\"2\"><span style=\"font-size: 10pt; font-family: Arial;\">PS&nbsp; Have you checked out the Jewish  12-step movement?&nbsp;&nbsp; There might be something there that could give you both the  community you need and deserve, and the support in resisting your addictive  pulls.&nbsp; <\/span><\/font><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>A friend from childhood emails: Luke you probably don&#8217;t remember me, but I can still picture you running down the road exercising in Angwin. You were just a boy maybe around 13 or 14. I remember you giving me advice &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/?p=7259\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[21],"tags":[14178,14176,1784,14180,14177,14179],"class_list":["post-7259","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-personal","tag-bad-apple","tag-confusing-days","tag-hellip","tag-homei","tag-orthdox","tag-running-down-the-road"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7259","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=7259"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7259\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=7259"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=7259"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=7259"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}