* When I was a kid I thought dykes were hot. Now that I have seem many of them, they could not be further from hot.<\/p>\n
I remember one evening trying to share my experience, strength and hope with a young actress in need when I got blocked by a bull dyke. I was never trained to deflect the onrush of the bull dyke. Fearsome creatures!<\/p>\n
* I have a weird rip in my shirt and when the shiksa points it out, I just say, “It’s a Jewish thing.”<\/p>\n
* Is there anything weird that Orthodox Jews do during sex or is it just normal sex? Does it have to be completely dark? (Asking for a Reform friend.)<\/p>\n
Chaim Amalek: “They do it through a hole in the bedroom wall. Man inserts his penis, woman on other side then must do the work. Numerous establishments in NY cater to them in this.”<\/p>\n
Steven Rosenberg: “I’m still waiting for the posts that make me want to become more observant.”<\/p>\n
Chaim Amalek Have you ever felt the joy of your rebbe’s smile? Once you have felt that inside you, there can be no other life for you.<\/p>\n
Steven Rosenberg Rabbis smile?!<\/p>\n
Chaim Amalek Inside, beneath their holy beards, yes. Also, if you were more observant, you would know what to do in the event your neighbor’s cow falls into a hole that you have dug on your property.<\/p>\n
* Potential employers tell me I’m like a hot hooker — they want me but they can’t afford me.<\/p>\n
* My therapist says I am very quick to kick people out of my life. I walk around with my finger on the button.<\/p>\n
* Friend: “I figured out why you haven’t gotten married. Wasn’t too hard to figure out. You don’t want to marry a whore or a reformed whore. And those are usually the women who are interested in you. This is why you haven’t married anyone. You’re waiting for a pure woman.”<\/p>\n
* Women have a certain amount of Action Jackson in them and most seem to use it up by age 28. I think they all get a limit, and once that is reached, they’re done. They’ve lost interest. Can’t be bothered. Sayanora.<\/p>\n
* Do Muslims have not enough power in American media, just the right amount or too much? For how long will a tiny number of imams out of Mecca decide what appears in our movies and TV? Is it OK if I invite Allah to this FB discussion? Inshallah.<\/p>\n
* I love it when people cry at my 12 step meetings, and most of the time, I haven’t even done anything. Crying relaxes me.<\/p>\n
* “Paying for it is for goyim.” (Stew Sheen)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
* When I was a kid I thought dykes were hot. Now that I have seem many of them, they could not be further from hot. I remember one evening trying to share my experience, strength and hope with a … Continue reading